Ten Things I Sort Of Guess I Might Know About The NFL

by Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

I found myself home alone this last Sunday, with a fresh set of remote batteries and no particular NFL game that struck my fancy, since the Saints-Bills game was effectively over shortly after the coin flip. I spent the day bouncing from game to game, trying to glean some kind of knowledge.

The great Peter King has a regular bit he does called “Ten Things I Think I Think.” I’m not nearly that good, so let’s just call these “Ten Things I Sort Of Guess I Might Know.”

1) I think sometime in the third quarter of last week’s Cowboys-Falcons game, Jerry Jones started suing the NFL, Roger Goodell, and whoever told him to draft Chaz Green.

2) Watching the Texans offense without Deshaun Watson is like trying to teach your grandmother to Skype. Normally it’s easy, but the circumstances make it absolutely maddening.

3) That Giants-49ers game wasn’t exactly a battle of wills. It was more a battle of won’ts.

4) The fourth quarter and overtime of that Chargers-Jaguars game might have been the dumbest half hour of any sport I’ve ever seen, short of that Donkey Basketball game I fouled out of for illegally hoofing a guy.

5) Two years ago Chip Kelly steered the Eagles directly into the toilet. Now they actually added an extra half-game to their division lead without even playing. That feels like something a team of destiny does.

6) If the Rams just ceased operations right now and decided to become a lacrosse team, they would still have won as many football games in these first nine weeks as they ever won under a full season with Jeff Fisher.

7) Bears Coach John Fox challenged a play where he thought his player scored a touchdown, and the replay showed he actually lost the ball out of the end zone for a turnover. That is officially the Buttfumble of Instant Replay Reviews.

8) The Colts have botched Andrew Luck’s injury so badly, he’s gone to Europe to get treatment. Driving a Pro Bowl quarterback into expatriatism doesn’t really seem like a selling point when it comes to attracting free agents to Indy.

9) If Greg Olsen doesn’t think he could get insight about the Rams and Vikings from being in the network booth for one of their games, then he’s definitely from the Phil Simms School of Broadcasting.

10) The absolute best move Hue Jackson has made as head coach of the Cleveland Browns is not having an Offensive Coordinator. That way there’s no one to take over for him, and he can’t be fired until the end of the season.

On to the picks. Last week I went 2–4 picking games straight up, and also 2–4 against the Vegas odds. In my defense, I wasn’t expecting Dallas to install a turnstile at the end of their offensive line against the Falcons. I’m now 29–29 straight up and 21–35–3 picking against the Vegas odds. Here’s my week ten picks, and I’ll admit I’m going out on a limb for some of these. As always, these are for the purposes of comedic discussion only, no wagering.

Philadelphia (-4.5) at Dallas: I feel like before last week’s Cowboys-Falcons game, the PA announcer should have come on and said “Playing the role of Tyron Smith tonight will be Kevin Hart.”
Pick: Dallas to win it outright. This one smacks of desperation, and Sunday Night Football games usually give us some surprises.

Arizona (+1.5) at Houston: When the NFL investigates why their television ratings dip, Exhibits A through F should be the six quarterbacks in uniform for this game.
Pick: Cardinals to win it outright.

LA Rams (+2.5) at Minnesota: At the beginning of the season, if you picked this Rams-Vikings as a game with huge playoff implications, get yourself to Las Vegas immediately. And buy lottery tickets all the way there.
Pick: Rams to win it outright.

Cincinnati (+2.5) at Denver: Vontaze Burfict talked trash with fans after getting tossed from the game last week, and the Bengals said they’ve spoken to him about it. Imagine that, Burfict actually gets advice like “The next time you get ejected, don’t do this…”
Pick: Bengals to win it outright.

Kansas City (-10.5) at NY Giants: The NY Giants have given up a touchdown to a tight end in ten straight games. Why would I mention that? Because reading that stat is far more interesting than watching them try and tackle.
Pick: Chiefs to cover, which means I think they’ll win by eleven or more. That’s a lot of points, I know, but the Giants seem to be giving less than full effort, their coach is a goner, and the Chiefs need a statement win.

Tampa Bay (even) at Miami: I have a rule in my house, every week I can either watch “This Is Us,” or a Dolphins game. I can’t take too much sadness in my life.
Pick: Bucs to win it.

I’ll also take the Lions-Bears game to go over 41 points, the NFC to win the Super Bowl, and the “Justice League” movie to be okay, but not that great. And why does Aquaman seem to have a redneck accent in this one? Did Atlantis sink off the coast of Alabama?

Good luck everybody.

– Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

The Big NFL Questions For Week FIve

By Reid Kerr
Project Shanks Offensive Coordinator

The quarter-pole mark of the NFL season is here, and so far it’s been an interesting, confusing season. With exactly half of my preseason playoff picks muddling through at 2-2, I’m not exactly certain of anything anymore.

Is there anything to be gained by obsessing over the fact the Jets and Patriots both had the same record after four weeks? Are the Bills and Eagles for real? Are the Cardinals done? Will Andrew Luck play this season? Is one game in a row all we can expect from the Cowboys to win? Does Alex Smith only play well when he has a young quarterback behind him waiting to take his job? Is it safe to watch the Giants play without protective goggles? Can the Raiders win without Derek Carr? And will the Browns ever finally finish their rebuilding efforts?

My official guesses? No, yes, yes, he shouldn’t, yes, yes, no, no, and not in my lifetime.

As you’ll see from my record this season, I know enough to know that I know nothing. And gamblers love it when a guy like that walks into the casino. Hopefully by next week I’ll have sorted out the Cowboys, fixed the Vikings injury problems, made Cam Newton stopped talking, created light without heat, and corrected many other easy-to-fix problems. Until then, my guess is probably not as good as yours.

On to the picks. For Thursday night’s game, I correctly picked the Patriots winning, but had them winning by 5.5 points or more. They wound up winning 19-14 over Tampa Bay, so for three days I’ve been haunted by half of a point. And walking around angry about half of a point in a football game that no one outside of Boston or Tampa watched is a rather silly predicament, I’ll admit, but sometimes that’s the difference between buying a new car and sleeping under a bridge.

I’m now 14-15 straight up, and an atrocious 9-20 picking against the Las Vegas odds. Time to start the epic comeback. Here’s my picks for Week five. These are for the purposes of discussion only, and based on this season, you’re far better off picking against me. As always, no wagering.

Green Bay (+2.5) at Dallas: If the weekly NFL injury reports ever needed an emoji, it would be a little cartoon character of Sean Lee holding his leg in pain.
Pick: Packers to win it outright.

Kansas City (+1) at Houston: Deshaun Watson is to Texans quarterbacks what Mount Rushmore is to mountains with people’s faces carved into them. I’m not even sure what the second best option is.
Pick: Texans to win.

LA Chargers (+6.5) at NY Giants: Ideally, this battle between two teams in the nation’s biggest cities should draw huge ratings. Both teams are winless though and to be honest, if they were playing this game in my back yard, I’d pull the blinds on them.
Pick: Chargers to win it outright.

Minnesota (-3) at Chicago: The Bears need Mitchell Trubisky to bring energy to their team. Also ticket sales, blocking, catching, and defense.
Pick: Bears to win and cover, winning by more than three.

San Francisco (+1.5) at Indianapolis: The statue of Peyton Manning the Colts are unveiling before this game is only slightly less mobile than Manning was, and it still is probably the best active quarterback in Indianapolis.
Pick: 49ers to win it outright.

Seattle (+1.5) at LA Rams: When I looked at this game, I debated if the Seahawks defense could slow down the Rams. Then I realized that coming into this season that question was so far beyond insane, I might as well have been pondering whether or not cats like pancakes.
Pick: Seahawks to win it outright.

I’ll also take the Bills over the Bengals, the Astros over the Red Sox, and Friday night games over Saturday afternoon ones. Good luck, everybody.

– Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

Mavs Open Preseason with a 106-104 Victory Over Visiting Bucks

By Darreck Kirby
Project Shanks Creative Director

The Dallas Mavericks opened the preseason with an impressive 106-104 win against the visiting Milwaukee Bucks. The evening was more about distributing minutes evenly and giving the starters the lion’s share of the first quarter. Said the twenty-year veteran Dirk Nowitzki after the game, “I was the only one who couldn’t do it [play the whole first quarter].” Considering Dirk’s irrefutable place in NBA history and that this is just the first preseason game of his twentieth season, the exhaustion can be forgiven.
[Read more…]

Dallas Mavericks 2017-18 Outlook

By Darreck Kirby
Project Shanks Creative Director

Last season the Dallas Mavericks amassed just 33 wins against 49 loses to complete one of their worst seasons in recent memory. To put things bluntly, the roster Dallas walked into the season with provided little hope to fans eager to see the return of playoff basketball in Big D. The starting lineup of Derron Williams, Wesley Matthews, Harrison Barnes, Dirk Nowitzki, and Andrew Bogut was never going to set the league on fire, and it resulted in the Mavs getting off to one of their worst starts since the 90s.  Things were so bad, in fact, Dallas ultimately took out a flier on a kid named Yogi Ferrell and opted to revamp its young core by trading for 23-year-old rim protector, Nerlens Noel. Sure the moves teased the possibility of Rick Carlisle’s squad sneaking into the playoffs, but in the end there just wasn’t enough depth or, frankly, talent, to overcome an abysmal 9-21 start. Dallas would get the number 9 overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft and land the electric point guard, Dennis Smith Jr.

Original photo credit Mavs.com

[Read more…]

What To Do About Nerlens Noel

By Darreck Kirby
Project Shanks Creative Director

When the Dallas Mavericks sent Justin Anderson, Andrew Bogut, and what should end up being two second round picks to the Philadelphia 76ers in exchange for a young rim protector in Nerlens Noel, the storyline surrounding the deal was that Dallas had swindled the Sixers front office. Over the remainder of the season, Noel would see action in 22 games for the Mavericks, averaging 8.5 points, 6.8 rebounds, and a block per contest. In those 22 games, he would start just 12 times and continue battling nagging injuries. It wasn’t stellar by any means, but there were flashes of what could be, and for Dallas, that was more than enough.

Feb 25, 2017; Dallas, TX, USA; Dallas Mavericks center Nerlens Noel (3) plays in his first game as a Maverick during the second quarter against the New Orleans Pelicans at the American Airlines Center. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

[Read more…]

5 Roster Moves Mark Cuban Regretted

By Darreck Kirby
Project Shanks Creative Director

Talent evaluation and financial planning around an NBA salary cap is a tough, often thankless job. To look at a player, in some cases a kid who may be 19-20 years old, and determine whether or not he’s going to develop into a real player or maintain current form is a near impossible task. And no one, no matter how good their track record, gets it right 100% of the time. While many of these moves can be found in the years following Dallas’s lone championship in 2011, others date back more than a decade. Sure Dallas looks to have a promising young core again, but these five roster moves can’t help but leave Mavs fans wondering “What if.”

[Read more…]

2017 PGA 3rd Round Recap; Birdies and Bogeys

By Joe Hines, Hanging around the lead

Saturday brings the completion of the 3rd round of the 99th running of the PGA Championship at Quail Hollow in Charlotte. Here’s what we found out about how to expect it to finish…*crickets*.

[Read more…]

Ezekiel Elliott Suspended 6 Games

By Darreck Kirby
Project Shanks Creative Director

After more than a year of investigating, the NFL finally issued a ruling on the Ezekiel Elliott domestic violence allegations from July of 2016. The sentence? Six games for something Elliott was never charged for, never even arrested for. Throughout the past twelve months, the waters of this case have been more than a little muddied, even at one point seeing text messages between Elliott’s ex and some of her friends suggesting she asked them to lie for her and corroborate her story. In the end, the Columbus  District Police determined there wasn’t enough evidence to move forward with charges. A short time later, claims arose again about an incident in Florida where supposedly Elliott had gotten physical with his ex in a car with other people. Once again, however, witnesses declined to corroborate the woman’s story. Florida police would also decline to charge Elliott with anything.

[Read more…]

2017 PGA Championship Round 2 Recap–Birdies and Bogeys

By Joe Hines — Making the Cut

There hasn’t been such excitement surrounding a rain delay since game 7 of the 2016 World Series.  It started to storm Friday afternoon in Charlotte, North Carolina, and like magic, birdies and all manner of hilarity resumed at the 99th PGA Championship.

[Read more…]

2017 PGA Championship Round 1 Recap – Birdies and Bogeys

By Joe Hines–Always Battling For Position

This year’s PGA Championship is being held at notable tour venue, Quail Hollow Golf Club in Charlotte, North Carolina. It’s been a regular stop for years, this is its first stab at hosting a major, however.  There has been a significant redo of the golf course since its last tournament in May, they rebuilt holes and re-grassed the whole golf course in a little over ninety days. A Herculean task, to be sure, and one of the fun features is a sub-air feature underneath the greens that can suck the water right out of them. Thus making the threat of rain through the weekend largely a non-story. The greens today for the first round, are already frighteningly fast. If tournament officials let them get much firmer, familiar cries of unfairness from young millionaires will blather across the twitter-sphere, God forbid these players who no longer play a game that I’m familiar with being challenged by less than comfortable conditions.

[Read more…]

2017 PGA Championship…A Preview

By Joe Hines, Noted Club Pro

The final major of the golf season, the PGA Championship, is coming up this week at Quail Hollow Golf Club in North Carolina. Plenty of subplots pepper the landscape;  a schedule change has just been announced by the tour for this tourney, beginning in 2019 when it will move to a slot in May from its usual August schedule. The goal presumably, is to wrap up the bulk of the competitive season before the start of football season. Golf doesn’t do all that well in ratings, to begin with, so it only makes sense to give it the best opportunity for the most eyes on it. Since the NFL will lead its minions down the path to gape mouthed wonder as sweaty fat men whack each other beginning just after Labor Day, the PGA would prefer to be done by then. And there is still plenty to be had in the silly season between September and April when the Masters reappears on our screens.


[Read more…]

Sports Enyi Time: Cowboys Hall of Fame Game with Law Nation

During the second half of the Cowboys/Cardinals Hall of Fame game, Darreck and Enyi took some time to call up a friend of the show and engage in some quality Cowboys talk. Oh, and the Mavericks came up later on, too.