Overreacting to the NFL Week Two Playoff Picture

By Reid Kerr / PSDC Offensive Coordinator

Week three in the NFL means things start to make sense. Paraphrasing the old baseball saying, you can’t win a championship in the first month of the season, but you can definitely lose it.

Every year after two weeks, the media brings up the statistics about 2-0 and 0-2 teams, and how often they do or don’t make the playoffs. I don’t remember the exact numbers and I don’t take them seriously, which may be one of the reasons I receive personal invitations from casinos and minor mob figures to come visit them on the weekends.

Right now, the Broncos, Raiders, Chiefs, Ravens, and Steelers are 2-0 in the AFC, while the NFC has the Lions, Falcons, and Panthers all undefeated. Which of these teams will miss the playoffs?

I’m betting against the Panthers, simply because two wins against easy competition don’t count. And in the AFC, one of those teams definitely won’t make it because of the way the playoff berths are structured, so I’ll take the Ravens to drop out.

Meanwhile on the bottom, the NFL has nine winless teams. Will any of them contend for a playoff spot? I like the Chargers, but not in that division. The Giants are only a game back, but seem like they’re about to implode in the same way Brandon Marshall’s career has done. And everyone else seems to be racing the Jets to the top of the 2018 draft, where numerous talented quarterbacks will come into the league and vanish into the depth charts of awful teams. If you haven’t started winning yet, don’t bother.

Thursday’s game was surprisingly watchable, which based on the current ratings concern, is a win for the NFL. Jared Goff is starting to look like a franchise quarterback for the Rams, but his two wins came against the Colts and 49ers, which is like basing your opinion of a country on how quickly it takes them to conquer France. Take it all with a grain of salt.

I picked San Francisco to win Thursday, but my idea was undone by bad kicking, a questionable interference call, and the inescapable gravity of the 49ers sucking. I was still correct with the point spread, though, so I’m now 6-9 straight up, and 5-10 against the spread.

On to the picks for the rest of week three. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only, and based on my track record, feel free to pick against me. As always, no wagering.

Dallas (-3.5) at Arizona: I just want Ezekiel Elliott to run down interceptions like Larry Allen did, is that so wrong?
Pick: Cowboys to win and cover, which means I think they’ll win by four or more.

Baltimore (-4) vs. Jacksonville in London: In ten years and nineteen games, the NFL has never matched up two teams with winning records in London. It’s like we’re still trying to punish Great Britain for that mid-2000’s summer when they made us all care about Oasis.
Pick: Ravens to win and cover, winning by five or more.

Miami (-6.5) at NY Jets: The Jets have said they’re going to platoon their running backs, so if you’re counting on a Jets tailback to shore up your fantasy team…well, you’ve already lost all touch with reality. There’s nothing more I can do to help you.
Pick: Dolphins to win and cover, winning by seven or more.

Cleveland (-1.5) at Indianapolis: This is the first time the Browns have been favored to win a game since that “Hello” song was atop the charts. Surprisingly, the Adele one and not the Lionel Richie number.
Pick: Colts to win it outright.

Kansas City (-3.5) at LA Chargers: The Chargers are 0-2, somehow having lost both games on last-play missed 44-yard field goal attempts. What can I say? Sometimes you move to Holywood and become a star, sometimes you go there and wind up in “Groundhog Day.”
Pick: Chiefs to win, Chargers to cover, which means I think the Chiefs will win by three or less, thus setting up another heartbreaking final second botched field goal attempt.

Houston (+14.5) at New England: Belichick’s Patriots have lost five times to rookie quarterbacks. That’s just a fun stat I use to make it seem like there was a chance I wouldn’t make the same decision 98% of everyone else in the world would make.
Pick: Patriots to win, but Houston to cover. That means I think the Pats win by two touchdown or less.

I’ll also take the Bills to upset the Broncos, the Saints to upset the Panthers, and political discussions on Facebook to upset everyone, all the time. Good luck, everybody.

– Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

The Ups and Downs of NFL Week Two

By Reid Kerr

Welcome to week two of the NFL, where we don’t know what’s going on yet. We’ve had one week where half my playoff picks lost, Tom Brady couldn’t complete a pass, and Jacksonville collected ten sacks. It’s chaos, and week two may not be much better before we can finally identify the patterns for this year.

I’ll be honest, dear readers. This season hasn’t started very well for me. I expect to turn things around this Sunday though, which is what every coach says in the postgame press conference just before they tell him to clean out his desk, and follow him to the parking lot to make sure he doesn’t steal any office supplies.

In the first few weeks of the season, sometimes I overestimate certain teams based on past results. Thursday’s game was definitely one of those times. The Houston Texans were a team starting a rookie quarterback in a short week on the road with no tight ends, and lost two of their best defensive backs members in the game. The Bengals still couldn’t find a way to beat them. That’s just staggering. And I know a lot of Bengals fans, trust me, they’re appropriately staggered,

So Thursday night, I tanked it totally. Or as we know now it around the office, I pulled a “Bengals.” I’m now 2-6 straight up, 1-7 against the Vegas spread, and getting desperate.

On to the picks. For the rest of week two, here goes. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only, and based on my track record, feel free to pick against me. As always, no wagering.

Dallas (-2.5) at Denver: Big upset this week for the Broncos when the new iPhone model didn’t come with a “Quarterback Finder” feature.
Pick: Cowboys to win and cover, which means I think they’ll win by three or more.

Tennessee (-1.5) at Jacksonville: The Jaguars get ten sacks in week one, which by my unofficial count is more than they’ve had in the past two hundred years. My numbers may be a little off, but you know what I’m saying.
Pick: Titans to win and cover, winning by two or more.

New England (-6.5) at New Orleans: Adrian Peterson is certainly not the first person to go to New Orleans looking for excitement and winding up disappointed. I’ve done that too, but at least AD woke up the next day with his wallet and clothes.
Pick: Patriots to win and cover, winning by seven or more.

Arizona (-7) at Indianapolis: With Andrew Luck still injured, the Colts have to decide whether to go with Scott Tolzien or Jacoby Brissett. Tolzien was awful last week, so the main question is if Brissett can be better throwing to the Colts, or at least worse in throwing it to the other team.
Pick: Cardinals to win, but Colts to cover. That means I think Arizona will win by six points or less.

Chicago (+6.5) at Tampa Bay: I saw a headline that said “Bears WR Kevin White Injured,” and I though for a minute I was reading a newspaper from last year. Or maybe the one before that.
Pick: Bucs to win, Bears to cover, which means Tampa wins by six or less.

Green Bay (+3) at Atlanta: The Falcons are opening their new stadium, which has a Chick-Fil-A in it. Which doesn’t open on Sundays. The metaphors just write themselves sometimes.
Pick: Packers to win outright.

I’ll also take the Vikings to upset the Steelers, Ravens over Panthers, and pumpkin spice as overrated. Good luck, everybody.

– Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

Project Shanks Gaming: Lets Play Horrors of the Deep Part 2

This is… wow. Safe to say, Horrors of the Deep has finally broken Darreck. It’s like a slow motion car crash we can’t turn away from.

Cowboys Most Likely to be Cut in Training Camp

By Lindsey Jones
Texas Rangers and Dallas Cowboys Writer

Every NFL team has tough decisions to make about what players to cut in order to get their team down to the final 53-man rosters to start each season. The Cowboys most intriguing decision will be at running back where they have 2 back up, late 20, running backs vying for 1 spot.

[Read more…]

Beer, Brats and Golf. The US Open invades Wisconsin

By Joe Hines, Noted Duffer

This is US Open week in the golf world, and what is widely considered golf’s sternest test, the tourney set up to test the will of young millionaires, will be contested at what is, by all accounts, the largest golf course in the history of golf, Erin Hills Golf Club, very far from anywhere in Wisconsin.

[Read more…]

What We Know In The NFC Championship Round

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

And then there were four.

After a really good weekend of Divisional games, we’re down to the Championship Round for the NFL. There’s only three games left in the season, so what have we learned so far?

Well first, this is a great time for quarterbacks. We’ve got an amazing final four. I know it’s shallow to say that because it doesn’t show enough appreciation for the defenses, backs, line play, etcetera, but come on. We’ve got the best four quarterbacks in the league all still standing.

And while we’re at it, this year shows there’s no price too big to pay to get your franchise quarterback. Look at the four remaining teams and you’ll see three Super Bowl winners and a guy who’ll probably be the MVP. Look at the bottom of the league and you’ll see teams who desperately need quarterbacks, and they try and they fail about every other year. Look at Houston hurling millions at a guy they had never worked out, just in hopes he’d be the best quarterback the Texans have ever had, which is to say he’d be slightly better than average. The Jets had four quarterbacks on the roster this year, and might do four different ones next year until something sticks. If you have a Pro Bowl guy taking the snaps, you’ve always got a chance. And if not? Forget it.

The only thing more important than quarterback might be the overall philosophy of these teams. The organization is all on the same page, from owner to coach to assistants to scouts to popcorn vendors. There’s a long-term buy-in there from three of them, and Atlanta is well on their way too. The teams still playing are, for the most part, always there. Their team philosophy is well understood, and has been for quite some time.

Basically if you can imagine the team name fitting into the sentence “The (Blank) Way,” they know what they’re doing. The Patriots Way. The Packers Way.

Ever try it with a bad team? Can you define “the Jaguars Way” without stammering for a moment and then just letting your voice trail off?

Speaking of locker rooms and attitudes, just a reminder, kids. Post-game complaints are whiny. They put the “loser” in “sore loser.” Travis Kelce blamed the Chiefs loss on a holding penalty, and called out a referee who’s going to be working the Super Bowl. Kelce also committed one of the dumbest after-the-play penalties I’ve ever seen in the playoffs, and plays in an offense that couldn’t make a two-point conversion from the twelve if you gave them six downs to do it. So calling out the ref for a fairly obvious penalty is a pretty weak argument.

And please, that “you never played the game so you can’t criticize me” argument is beyond lame. The NFL is a public entity, it’s not a secret society. The reason these players can buy houses and cars and mistresses is because people who never played the game at the highest level are willing to shell out thousands of dollars for seats, shirts, jerseys, socks, caskets, and anything else the NFL is willing to slap a logo on. If that means you have to answer questions once in a while from a guy who went to college and actually went to class, then that’s a small price to pay for league minimum wage.

And finally, we learned bad teams are willing to take some chances. We saw no major retreads in the coaching hires, and lots of (sometimes very) young, hungry assistant coaches working their way up the food chain, earning one of those thirty-two gigs.

Of course, the success rate on those young coaches is somewhere around thirty percent, but one of them could be the next Bill Belichick, just as soon as they get fired from this first job and land another one.

On to the picks for Sunday. I was 1-3 last week, and also 1-3 against the spread, which makes me 5-3 straight up, and 4-4 against the spread in the playoffs. I’ll need to get lucky this week to stay on the sunny side of the street.

Here’s the picks for Championship Sunday. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.

Green Bay (+5.5) at Atlanta: This game might come down to two or three defensive plays, quite possibly because those are the only plays made defensively in this entire game. Aaron Rodgers may be the most exciting quarterback in decades, but magic runs out in Green Bay eventually. Or at least Don Majkowski did.
Pick: Falcons to win and cover, which means I think they’ll win by six.

Pittsburgh (+6) at New England: I don’t know what the big deal was about Antonio Brown’s live video from the locker room. That’s pretty much what everyone outside of the immediate Boston area calls the Patriots.
Pick: Patriots to win, but Steelers with the points, which means I think the Steelers will lose by five or less.

I’ll also admit here that I’m hoping for the exact opposite of those results, but you root with your heart and bet with your head. I’ll be back next week to talk about the exquisite ridiculousness of the Super Bowl, but until then, good luck, everybody.

– Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

Here’s The Thing – And The National Championship Goes To…

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

It’s a new year, a new day, and we have a new National Champion in college football. Good to be back with you in 2017, ladies and people who lie to the ladies on a regular basis. I’ve recovered from my holiday eggnog coma, at least to the point where I can confidently discuss the National Championship Game, draw certain conclusions from it, and fight on Twitter with anyone who disagrees. In other words: I’m fine.

See, Here’s The Thing; What. A. Game. Clemson and Alabama put on a classic, the kind of game that makes me feel bad for people who don’t like sports. Not as bad as I feel for people who don’t like bacon, though. Actually, I don’t feel bad for those people, I feel mad at them. You don’t like bacon? What are you, some kind of psycho nutjob? You should be on multiple No Fly lists, you maniac. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Clemson. An amazing show by both teams, that literally went down to the last second, as well as the last ounce of energy for many of the guys on the field. The amount of hitting in that game was NFL level, and you could see most of those guys were running on empty by the third quarter – which is what made the incredible athletic display of the 4th quarter all the more impressive. Champions are made when the tank is on “E,” when guys find just one more play, just one more burst, and multiple champions were made last night. Deshaun Watson, Mike Williams, Wayne Gallman, Hunter Renfrow, Dabo Swinney and Ben Boulware for his postgame “I don’t kill zombies to survive, I kill zombies because I LOVE IT” level interview, all took their respective games to another level after Alabama punched them in the mouth early and appeared poised to run away with the title. It’s that type of transcendent effort that separates the good from the great, and the great from the Champions. What we saw last night was championship level, all the way around, and I am grateful for having been able to watch.

Look, if you don’t like sports that’s OK, but you’re missing out on some fantastic, unscripted human drama. Congratulations Clemson, it’s Awards Season and you’ve won a great one.

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy schedule and buy my CD all on my website at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com. For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.

HeresTheThingArt

Here’s The Thing – Hallelujah, Holy Sh…It’s Mortal Lock Friday

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

[Read more…]

Hey Facebook! Turn The Project Shanks.com Page Back On!

By Chris Stuckey and Reid Kerr
Currently Locked-Out PSDC Founder/Writer

Hey Facebook, we appreciate your attention to detail and security and changing your settings every fifteen minutes to keep Reid’s parents confused, but please turn the Project Shanks.com Facebook page back on.

Chris Stuckey is the owner and founder of Project Shanks.com (or PSDC, as the cool kids call it). Reid Kerr is the head writer and web designer for PSDC. Both were admins on the page, and are fully authorized to post on it, about it, and any other preposition you’d like to throw in there.

Chris Stuckey also runs the official PSDC Twitter page, which you can see here. Would it help if we posted about this matter over there too?

Right now, with no warning whatsoever, you’ve unpublished the PSDC page on Facebook and locked Chris and Reid out of their accounts, demanding they change the title of the page before you’ll let them log in again.

But here’s the cruel part, Facebook. When they try, they get an error. They can’t even log in to tell you you’re doing the exact opposite of the right thing because you won’t let them.

Please, Facebook. Reinstate the ProjectShanks.com page and let our people go.

(UPDATE: As of Thursday night, Chris and Reid were back on Facebook, but the Project Shanks.com page was not.)

2016 (Final) NFL Mock Draft

By: David Parks
Twitter: @_Parksie

Before we get into the last mock for the 2016 class – a look back at how things were before LA and Philadelphia lost their minds. [Read more…]

2016 NFL Draft: Prospect Rankings by Position

2016 NFL DRAFT

Paxton+Lynch

With the NFL Scouting Combine less than a week away, David Parks unveils his top prospects at each position.

[Read more…]

2016 NFL Draft Big Board (2.0)

By David Parks

Sadly, the end of college football is here.

“Trapped in a show hole?”

“Nah… Trapped in a sports hole.”

[Read more…]