Here’s The Thing – Brackets, Brackets, Brackets!

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
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I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

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Did you fill out your brackets yet? Want to fill out our brackets together? Are you in my bracket pool? Want to be in my bracket pool? Not that it’s legal, but I’m in a bracket pool. Want to be in a bracket pool together? This sentence also contains the word bracket.

See, Here’s The Thing; If you’re even a marginal sports fan, the next few days will be all about brackets. Brackets, brackets, brackets. Are you sick of hearing the word brackets yet? Well, if you are, I’d suggest you lay off Twitter until at least Monday, because every tweet will either be someone complaining about their brackets, or (starting Friday) smarmy hipsters tweeting about little they care about your brackets, apparently missing the irony that no one else on Earth cares about 99.9% of what hipsters tweet about. But back to the brackets… Today sports fans are discussing their brackets, and how they’re going to fill out their brackets, spouting off about Cinderellas and Final Four Locks that they firmly believe in until someone tell them it’s a stupid bracket pick and they begin to self-doubt and second guess and change their entire bracket due to peer pressure, then by Thursday evening lament their busted brackets and scream “Why didn’t I trust my gut?!?!” (Sound familiar?) The thing about brackets is this: Brackets look cool. That’s about it, really, isn’t it? People like the way brackets look, all laid out in front of them with so many bracket possibilities and so much unknown bracket excitement, that they just can’t wait to pick every 12 over every 5 because even though they don’t know what that means, they’ve heard in on every bracket show in bracketville and want to be part of the cool bracket crowd. March Madness Brackets basically evoke a mini-Vegas response – “I know every bracket I’ve ever filled out has lost, but THIS bracket will be DIFFERENT! IT’S A WINNER!!”

Look, you’re not going to win your bracket pool anyway, the person who picks their brackets based on mascots or where their Uncle went to college is going to win. So have some fun and incite an online riot today by telling everyone their bracket is stupid. Trust me, it’s more fun than actually trying to break down the brackets. Oh, final tally on use of the word bracket: 36. Not bad for two minutes.

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy schedule and buy my CD all on my website at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com. For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.

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