By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger
I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.
I am OUTRAGED! These circumstances are COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! This is BEYOND THE PALE! OK, I don’t even know what “the pale” is, or how you go beyond it, (I’m assuming it involves knowing an albino or a group of Irish people) but I’m just trying to fit in with everyone else on Earth who’s combining their Daylight Savings Time sleepy-anger with March Madness Selection Sunday Outrage.
See, Here’s The Thing; This is a great day every year. Aside from the fact that the biggest outrage should be that it took CBS nearly and hour and a half to reveal the brackets (and would have taken longer if not for the internet leak – Hey CBS, it’s brackets, not the NFL Draft. No one wants to watch Greg Gumbel for that long), everyone is up in arms today over Tulsa, Monmouth, Phoenix Online and Faber College (where knowledge is good) not being placed where they should have been. The brackets are ruined and our lives are ruined! Except that they’re not, because it’s a game, you’re going to chuck $50 down the crapper in your pool because you haven’t watched 99% of these teams for one second this season, and no matter who was seeded where, we all had to get up and go to work today anyway, right? Go ahead, jump on Twitter. I’ll lay you 50-1 that if you scroll through the tweets of people making the most “outrage” noise today, they’ve never said anything intelligent and the most coherent thoughts they’ve ever had have been about cheesebread, tire irons, or boobs. I know you didn’t get an extra hour of sleep this morning, but that’s no reason to angrily yell about San Diego State being better than Syracuse, just as that’s no reason to run the guy trying to turn left from the middle lane off the road and into the landscaping around that office park. (No reason needed for that. That should be totally legal)
Look, are there team I thought should be in that aren’t and vice versa? Of course, but I know college basketball like I know women – I have about three moves and none of them have worked since 1997. I know that doesn’t make any sense. Neither does your faux outrage. See the point?