By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman and Brad Pitt Doppelgänger
I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.
Well, it’s finally here, folks – 68 teams dwindling down to one over the next three weeks in this chaotic majesty we call March Madness. Office pool brackets will be studied, agonized over, submitted and then ripped up, most of them before the ink has a chance to dry. Ah, isn’t semi-legal gambling fun? It’s fun for sports fans, but like most things, it’s MORE fun if you do it Vegas.
See, Here’s The Thing; If you’ve never been to Vegas during the first weekend of March Madness, put it on your bucket list. If you don’t have a bucket list, make one and put “Get to Vegas for the first weekend of March Madness on it.” (Also put skydiving, shark cage and something about climbing a very tall mountain which we both know you’ll never, ever climb. There, don’t say I never did anything for you.) Anyway, the next four days in Vegas are the biggest of the year, bigger even than Super Bowl weekend – and boy howdy how are they a spectacle of human theater. If you happen to be there, head down to one of the local sportsbooks, grab a beer, sit back and enjoy the insanity! Hundreds of folks crammed together, randomly screaming curse words as different games play out, taunting their one friend always predicts huge upsets that never come through so he has to buy everyone dinner, creates a level of chaos that makes the the final scene of Blazing Saddles look like an overly choreographed middle school dance. One tip – don’t get between a crazed gambler and the ticket window. Before each round of games they get into a herd mentality and rush those windows like something out of The Walking Dead, if instead of eating human flesh the zombies had an insatiable desire to lay $500 on the halftime line in East Nowhere Texas State game. As the games com down the stretch, it is the very definition of the word “bedlam,” if the definition of that word is “These guys are out of their frickin’ gourds!”
Look, if you’ve never seen it, you have to go, No, you HAVE to. There is no place on Earth like Vegas, and as the 68 teams fight for their one shining moment, I submit there’s no place on Jupiter like it, either. It’s indescribable fun.