Here’s The Thing – Go Cubs (Shhh … Don’t Wake The Babies)

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

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I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

There’s an old saying that claims “Youth is wasted on the young.” There’s another old saying that claims “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” but if we all adhered to that one, sportscasters and movie critics would have no jobs, and political campaigns would last about four minutes. (So actually, that’s not a bad idea) Youth is definitely in vogue this fall in Chicago though, as the Cubbies continue to roll along.

See, Here’s The Thing; There’s another old saying that claims “What you don’t know can’t hurt you,” and any reasonable person has to think that’s part of what’s fueling this fantastic run by Chicago’s North Side baseball franchise. Sure, there’s a pile of talent in that dugout taller than Sears Tower (Yes, it will ALWAYS be Sears Tower to me. Willis? Whachoo talking ‘bout, Willis?), adding Joe Maddon proves once again that a manager can make a world of difference in baseball (or any sport), and Jake Arrieta was obviously replaced a few months ago by a Pod Person from the planet StudMuffin, but there’s more to it than that. Some of the Cubs are simply too young to know “They’re the Cubs.” Just as there’s something mystical about the Cubs long history of losing that can get in the heads of the players, fans, broadcasters and opponents, something mystical about no fear, no pain and not even contemplating the possibility of losing can get in there as well. This is especially true when you’re too young to know any better, and many of the Cubs important pieces are so young they don’t even remember a world without Dr Phil. That’s a huge advantage when it comes to playoff baseball, exorcising the century old demons of an entire city, and being fearless enough to approach a woman who’s way out of your league, although that’s not really germane here. If I were a Cubs fan, I’d approach this like I’d approach a No-Hitter: Shhhh, don’t mention it. If you’re too loud, you’ll wake the babies, and they may be crabby.

Look, there are eight wins to go before 107 year old curses are lifted, but the way the Cubs have been playing, and with a battle-tested manager to lead them, it’s not unrealistic to start looking at it. If it means finally grabbing a World Series Championship, I’m sure Cub fans my age and older would be thrilled to let youth be wasted on the young.

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy tour schedule and buy my CD all on my website at For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.



  1. You have no idea

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