By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman and Brad Pitt Doppelgänger
I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.
The field of 68 has been whittled down to the Sweet 16 in college basketball’s annual championship tournament, colloquially known as March Madness, even though technically it’s known by another name: Fred’s Bigassed Hoops Tourney. Bet you didn’t know that, did you? Don’t feel bad, I read a lot. Anyway, the question being most posed the past couple of days is “Can anyone beat Kentucky?”
See, Here’s The Thing; That is an excellent question. Can someone beat Kentucky? Of course, because of “Any Given Sunday” and all that jazz. Let’s take a look at the teams potentially in the Wildcats way in their pursuit of perfection. First up is West Virginia, who may have a chance based on the fact that they play so physical, and if they get down Bob Huggins might simply run onto the court and challenge Kentucky’s players to a knife fight. next up would be either Wichita State, who seems to be counting on the revenge factor and Kentucky getting lost on the way to the gym, or Notre Dame, who definitely has a shot because as the movie “Hoosiers” proved, short white dudes can win any basketball game if they run the picket fence and the other team plays insanely stupid basketball with a lead in the closing minutes and it’s 1954. After that it’s likely either Wisconsin, who has probably the best shot after losing to the Wildcats by one at the buzzer last year and is led by Larry Bird Kaminsky, or Arizona who is Charles Barkley’s pick to win it all and therefore has no chance. The title game is WAY out there, but the Dukies lurk as they do every year, as well as my personal pick to beat Kentucky if anyone is going to do it, Michigan State. There are things in life you simply don’t do: Don’t tug on Superman’s cape, don’t spit into the wind, don’t pull the mask off the Lone Ranger, don’t mess around with Slim, and never, ever, ever pick against the Spartans in March.
Look, will Izzo’s squad pull of the impossible? I don’t know, but many a bracket has burst into flames by underestimating the squad from East Lansing. I picked UK to win it all, but if anyone is going to stop them, the Spartans are my guess. Well, them or Hickory.