Here’s The Thing – Mortal Lock Madness

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman and Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

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I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

Well good Friday morning to you, faithful listeners! Amidst the tsunami of tweets and office conversation revolving around the phrase “I can’t believe I’m out of it ALREADY!” it’s time for day two of March Madness. It’s also time for first day one of spring. Most importantly, it’s time for day 300-and-something of Mortal Lock Friday.

See, Here’s The Thing; Though we’ve never met, you and I share one thing in common that I know for certain: between the myriad of upsets, the gags and chokes of epic proportions by teams playing with large leads in the closing minutes, and the biggest highway robbery horrific oh my God is Tim Donaghy the ref who called that goaltending heart stoppers yesterday, we both shouted many, many, MANY bad words in the direction of our televisions. Another thing we have in common, is wanting to know what will happen the rest of the weekend, and that’s where my crystal ball comes in. Let’s go! I predict that at least one announcer will say “Just when you think yesterday’s madness couldn’t be topped, here we go again!” in a 58-19 game. I predict we don’t care about what everyone else thinks, the only guys who believed we could pull this off were the guys in this locker room and that’s all that matters. I predict that eventually, I’ll get one game right in the South, after an 0-4 start yesterday grumblegrumble. I predict at this point, I have no clue which game that is. I predict that after the 14-seed magic of yesterday, 3-seed Oklahoma should be on higher alert than a middle east airport. I predict a 13 and an 11 seed will win again today. I predict I’ll eat my body weight in potato chips by 5PM. Finally, I predict that the most difficult thing to do in this tournament is pick against Michigan State – which is why I didn’t do it.

Look, Out of over 100 people in my bracket pool, I currently rank 73rd, so obviously I know what I’m talking about here, folks. You could pay some handicapper for advice, or you could take these golden tickets I’m dropping over here for free, your call. All I know is Hampton coming up short against Kentucky really hosed me. Now all I need to win is … hold on, more bad words are coming….

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy schedule and buy my CD all on my website at For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.


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