Here’s The Thing – Some Fans Deserve No Sympathy

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

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I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

The baseball Wild Card Games are out of the way now, and we now know which teams will become so familiar with each other in the coming weeks that fans and broadcasters will attempt to justify their throwing baseballs at each others heads at 95 MPH. The past two nights also gave us a fantastic glimpse into what folks across the country think about two diametrically opposed fan bases, in the Yankees and the Cubs.

See, Here’s The Thing; There are certain teams for whose fans I will never, ever, ever feel sorry. Some teams elicit sympathy, others simply hatred. I recently saw multiple social media posts from people saying how difficult it is to be a Yankee fan after their Wild Card loss. Well boo hoo on a popsicle stick. Seriously? You want people to feel bad for you? You, of the 27 world championships? You, of the unlimited payroll? You, who nearly let John McClain get killed inside your stadium in Die Hard 3? I’d sooner feel sorry for brussels sprouts. I’m sure most of them are fine people – several good friends of mine are Yankee fans – but Yankee fans deserve the same level of sympathy after a loss as 49er fans, Steeler fans, Laker fans, Alabama fans, Harlem Globetrotter fans, Michael Corleone fans, and people who root for the fat, ugly redneck guy to be the father on Maury Povich. If you consider five years to be a “title drought,” my hatred for your team will give no quarter. Now, the last time the Cubs won The World Series was before the Titanic sank, so that’s deserving of some sympathy. Folks in San Diego, Buffalo, Seattle, Minnesota and to a certain degree Philadelphia are sympathetic as well, although they all pale in comparison to any team with the word “Cleveland” on their jersey, and the Philly folks lose some points for booing anyone that moves. (If they could wake up during open heart surgery, they’d boo their own doctor)

Look, the point is, if you crow about all of your teams championships, you can’t turn around and play woe-is-me after a loss. Well, you can, but you have to be prepared to be pelted with rotten apples and rotten eggs by fans so hungry for and focused on getting a championship they forgot to eat their apples and eggs before they went bad. Say it with me, sports fans: I’m glad the Yankees lost. Go Cubs.

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy tour schedule and buy my CD all on my website at For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.


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