By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger
I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.
So let’s see, what to talk about today … bowling? Cricket? Amazingly yummy kale recipes? Nah, I guess we’ll discuss that football game, The Super Bowl or whatever. I mean, bowling and cricket are boring and yummy kale recipes simply do not exist, so we might as well discuss the incredibly ridiculous Patriots comeback that may or may not prove Tom Brady is from another planet.
See, Here’s The Thing; What an amazing 4th quarter. As a football fan, there is no way you couldn’t have enjoyed that. (Well, as a football fan outside of Atlanta. For fans in Atlanta, it had to feel like a 45 minute colonoscopy from Edward Scissorhands.) I know, I know, the Patriots are Evil and they should take the field to The Star Wars Imperial March and Bill Belichick is obviously one of The Stonecutters, but for pure football entertainment, the 4th quarter was just about unmatched in Super Bowl history. The game itself was eerily reminiscent of Super Bowl 23; fairly dull for three quarters, then a flurry of activity and scoring in the final frame, culminated by a 90+ yard touchdown drive by one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game. Montana went 92 yards to beat the Bengals, Brady went 91 to send it to Overtime. I didn’t care – TRULY didn’t care and had no dog in the fight – and I was losing my mind watching what simply couldn’t happen, happen. No way does Matt Ryan lose a fumble at THAT moment, when the Patriots absolutely HAD to have a field-flipping turnover. No way do the Falcons continue to put a linebacker on James White. No way does Atlanta get pushed out of FG range after THAT catch by Julio Jones. No way does Julian Edelman catch that ball. NO WAY DOES JULIAN EDELMAN CATCH THAT BALL! (Yes, that one deserved to be repeated) No way do the Falcons continue to not blitz. Finally, after winning the overtime coin toss, NO WAY are the Patriots not scoring a touchdown. At that moment, game was ovah.
Look, I still can’t believe what I watched, and THAT is the mark of spectacular theater. The kind of incredible, breathless, mind blowing, unscripted theater that can only come from sports. Oh, and a yummy kale recipe involves replacing the kale with bacon. You’re welcome.
Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy schedule and buy my CD all on my website at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com. For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.