By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator
As we enter the homestretch of the NFL season, this is the time when teams either buckle down or knuckle under. We’re seeing teams like Pittsburgh and Kansas City making big pushes despite their early struggles, and Minnesota and Green Bay reversing that trend.
In honor of the big twists and turns in the NFL so far this season, this week I present my fearless predictions, guaranteed to be at least as accurate as Ron Jaworski.
- By the 2018 season, Colin Kaepernick will either be a Pro Bowl quarterback or out of the NFL.
- Johnny Manziel will still be a Cleveland Brown by the time the Super Bowl gets here, and Mike Pettine will not.
- Peyton Manning will be a starter in the league next year, but somewhere in the Central Time Zone.
- Jim Tomsula will stay the head coach of the 49ers next year, and that will not be a very good decision.
- San Diego and Oakland will move to Los Angeles, and the NFL will trade an old rivalry for a presence in an apathetic market. And the Rams will get the shaft.
- Marcus Mariota and Jameis Winston will both be starters in the NFL for many years to come, while Robert Griffin III will not.
- Washington will keep Kurt Cousins, and regret it.
- Atlanta will fire a lot of people in the offseason.
- That “Concussion” movie will be very good, however, the NFL will never acknowledge it and 99% of you will never see it.
- I will make the postseason in my fantasy league and painfully lose in the first round for the fourth straight year, thus earning me the “Bengals Lifetime Playoff Lack of Achievement Award.”
- Andrew Luck will take his starting job back and no one will ever mention it again.
- Seattle will make the playoffs and go 1-1.
- When Tony Romo throws his first interception next year, most of you will have forgotten how much the Cowboys need him.
- Arizona will win the NFC.
- The Patriots will make the Super Bowl, unless they have to play the Chiefs or Steelers on the way.
On to the picks. Week Thirteen was solid for me, I went 4-2, and only overestimated the Vikings and the Rams this time. I had the Cowboys winning that game against Washington for one simple reason: It made no sense. In the NFC Nickelback Division, logic and reality are just vague suggestions, so bet accordingly.
I’m now 48-35-2 on the year. Time for my playoff push. Here’s my picks for week fourteen. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.
Pittsburgh (+3) at Cincinnati – I have more confidence in the playoff futures of Pittsburgh as a possible wild card than I do Cincinnati as a number-one seed.
San Francisco (+1.5) at Cleveland: Johnny Football gets more comebacks than Jason Voorhees.
Buffalo (NL) at Philadelphia: The running back he dumped wants to clobber him. The back he signed went over his head to complain to the owner. Chip Kelly is to running backs what Charlie Sheen is to girlfriends.
Atlanta (+9) at Carolina: Stop saying the Panthers are overrated. And yes, if you could reach those grapes, they’d probably be sour.
New Orleans (+4.5) at Tampa Bay – I hope Sports Illustrated does a special edition commemorating Brandon Browner’s 100th pass interference penalty this week.
Dallas (+7) at Green Bay: You’d say a loss here would end the Cowboys playoff hopes, but the entire division is basically the cast of “Grown-Ups 2” here. Anything good coming out of them would be a shock.
I’ll also take Western Kentucky over South Florida in the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Bowl, Akron over Utah State in the Facebook-Friend-Request-From-A-Total-Stranger Bowl, and Temple over Toledo in the Kardashian Bowl.
- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s novel “The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape” is available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.