You Are Sick of the Cubs? TOUGH!

By Joe Hines

I’m sure Cub fatigue has set in for much of the baseball-loving world. As I’ve continued forth for the last 109 years, watching team after team, even the MARLINS, win world championships, the Cubs have lovably lost year after year. And when I say that I’ve proceeded for 109 years, it’s only partially absurd if you consider that each year counts as two for most of Cubs history. I’m only slightly older than halfway, so I can safely say that I have come along for each and every year. So when the Cubs won last season, I say I get to celebrate as long as I damn well want to.


[Read more…]

Breaking Bad Review for the Non-TV Viewer

By Joe Hines
PSDC Staff & Chicago Guru

Let me begin by saying I do not ordinarily watch network television programming. I find regular network shows to generally be unimaginative and insipid. In the last five years, I can count the number of television shows that I have watched more than once on one hand. But I have seen and heard with interest the conversation surrounding Breaking Bad over the last few years. So be aware, as my story goes on here today, if you haven’t seen it, there will be spoilers galore. So if you haven’t seen it, you should probably stop reading now. But before you leave, head to the bottom of the page and give it a “like.”

Breaking-Bad-Censorship [Read more…]

Pitchers and Catchers Report: The Four Words That Capture Every Young Man’s Fancy

By Joe Hines
PSDC Staff & Chicago Guru

Greetings after a couple of weeks of driving, moving, more driving, more moving and finally settling here in South Florida a looong way from 20 below zero. It took 54 years but I finally got cold enough. I’ve already had great fun here in the land of Gators, Seminoles, Dolphins and Bucs. But what really gets me all twittery is the prospect of being able to write about baseball, my favorite past time. Which for those of you who have followed my writing know, that means Cubs. Lots and lots of Cubs. But now here I am in the heart of the Grapefruit League, and the Rays and Marlins are of course Florida’s major league full-time residents. Well OK, the Rays anyway. The Marlins have been kicked down to Triple A I think a la English soccer leagues.

Photo Credit:

Photo Credit:

As well as those interests, here in Ft. Myers, I’m within five miles or so of the spring training homes of the World Champ Boston Red Sox, as well as the once again Minnesota Gardenhires, AKA The Twins. Last year at this time I was on the opposite Florida coast and had the chance to observe first hand the stinking Cardinals, the Marlins I referred to earlier and the Mets. Last year was my first chance to see any MLB spring training so even at my advanced age I get a kick out of new experiences, and I’m looking forward to catching some Red Sox and Twins games here. [Read more…]

MLB Playoff Races at the Season’s Three-Quarter Pole

By Joe Hines
PSDC Staff & Chicago Guru

Most MLB teams have played just under 130 games, and the contenders have separated themselves from the pretenders. The non-waiver deadline came and went with a thud and in these here parts, the biggest news prior to the Aug. 31 waiver deadline has been David DeJesus on a train from Chicago to Washington and now to Tampa Bay. The Rays plucked him off waivers from the Nats after they claimed him from the Cubs, all in the span of a week. I went to the Cubs-Nationals game last Monday night, the day of the Washington claim. He was a Nat  for four games, the span of the Cubs series. On his way to Tampa, the Rays placed DeJesus on waivers. Dude is gonna get a complex. Let’s take a look at the races in each league along with some fearless predictions from me. Yeah, the guy who picked the Blue Jays in the A.L. Eastern Division at the beginning of the year. This job requires thick skin. Far be it from me to shy away from baseball embarrassment. I’ve been a Cub fan over 50 years, I’m used to it.

Let’s first take a look at the National League. Your division leaders are Atlanta in the East, Los Angeles in the West with Pittsburgh, St. Louis and Cincinnati battling for the top spot in the Central. Sadly, the Cubs are out of it. Atlanta and LA have commanding double-digit leads in their respective divisions and with only a little over 30 games left, barring a complete White Sox-like meltdown, figure to cruise their way into the playoffs. [Read more…]

Here’s The Thing 8/6/13: A-Rod And Hooch

By Stephen Thomas
PSDC Funnyman and Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

Stephen Thomas’ brand new CD “Magic Wife Dust” is now available HERE! His sports-humor commentary can be heard nationwide, weekdays on The Nick Bonsanto Show on the Sports Byline USA radio network. You can subscribe to the Here’s The Thing podcast on iTunes and/or Podbean for free.  The transcripts will appear here.

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

Thirteen players were suspended from major league baseball yesterday for use of performance enhancing drugs, and not one of those drugs was Cialis. Most of the players had the good sense to accept their punishment, but not Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod instead had his PR camp go on the offensive, which is the equivalent of me yelling at my wife for noticing that I did something wrong, like forgetting to feed the kid, or leaving my socks in the microwave. Don’t judge, my feet were cold.

See, Here’s The Thing; This “attack the accuser” attitude is symptomatic of the world as whole, NOT just sports. I think it dates back to the mid-90’s, a high level elected US official, an intern with questionable cocktail dress dry cleaning habits, and most frightening of all: James Carville. Alex Rodriguez’s course of action is so utterly stupid that he was booed by CUBS fans, a group who voluntarily roots for a team that hasn’t won since Vito Corleone was a teenager. The worst part is it’s not the first time A-Rod has been caught using PED’s, yet he’s trying to come off as the innocent business owner in an 80’s movie. The guy who had no idea this drug trafficking was going on in his company, when we all knew he was the mastermind behind it based on the fact that he had a $20 million mansion and his own lear jet despite being the owner a pet store. Unlike the authorities in those 80’s movies, who never noticed those things because they had the observational skills of kelp, Major League Baseball DID catch A-Rod – again – and just like 80’s movies villains, he’ll soon be left trying to struggle through life relying on only his family, his faith, and his $380 gazillion dollar contract, because as you know, cheaters never prosper.

Look, we as fans enable these sports cheats because we’ve applied Gordon Gekko’s “greed is good” approach a bit too liberally, but all we’ve ever asked is that when you’re caught, admit it and apologize – Americans will forgive you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take my underwear out of the microwave before my wife gets home. I can’t get caught again.

Find me on the web at, Facebook as Comedian Stephen Thomas, or follow me on Twitter @15Stephen15.  For The Nick Bonsanto Show, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.

Hibernating at the MLB Winter Meetings

By Joe Hines
PSDC Chicago Guru

So, Dale Sveum gets himself shot by Robin (Dick Cheney) Yount while hunting quail. The Cubs manager claims not to have been hurt, just got a bit of buckshot in the ear. Then he dispels any notion of being OK by going and hiring Rob Deer as an assistant hitting coach. Might want to visit the doc one more time for an insurance catscan skip. [Read more…]

Fearless MLB Offseason Observations

By Joe Hines
PSDC Writer 

We take a break from our regularly scheduled football season to examine a few of moves made by Major League Baseball teams. Keep in mind I come from a Chicago point of view, where the big news thus far is the Cubs hiring a new television analyst. Jim Deshaies, by all accounts a knowledgeable, funny, engaging sort, not to mention all around nice guy, is a pleasant diversion from the on-field, 101 loss team known as Theo Epstein’s’ reincarnate Cubs squad. [Read more…]