The Biggest of NFL Disappointments

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

The Wild Card weekend wraps up today, and while there’s plenty of time to celebrate the twelve teams that made the playoffs, there’s twenty others who have already cleaned out their lockers and headed off for vacation. Some have known for weeks their season would end January first, and some just found out Sunday night. And while places like Dallas and Oakland experienced better than expected seasons, I tend to settle in on the more morbid questions.

Who was the most disappointing team?

Perhaps it’s my nature as a Buffalo Bills fan, but I can appreciate anguish. Note I’m not talking about the worst team, Cleveland definitely had the worst record, but wasn’t the most disappointing. The Browns are headed in the right direction, although they’re moving about as fast as that old man character that Tim Conway used to play.

Yes, kids, I know that’s not a timely reference. Just YouTube it, and thank me later.

And even though they fired their coach and general manager, San Francisco can’t realistically be disappointed with two wins from that talentless grease fire of a team. The only way they could be a playoff team would be if they played the Rams every week.

Disappointment doesn’t come from low expectations, it’s the hangover from high hopes dashed. It’s the difference between hoping your team can fight their way to .500 ball, and starting to plan your Super Bowl Party in August.

For example, the Bengals went from 12-4 to 6-9-1, and finally ended their string of first-round playoff losses. Cincinnati fans had big expectations this year based on past regular season performance, and the Bengals disappointed at every turn. This was a team where fans couldn’t even take extra points for granted.

After five weeks, Minnesota was 5-0 and the team to beat. Vikings fans were crazed, but injuries caught up with them, and eventually Sam Bradford remembered he was Sam Bradford. On their way to 8-8, the Vikings not only lost four of their most important offensive players, they lost their offensive coordinator and head coach at various times during the season. The only way it could have been worse was if the injury cart ran through a barricade and wound up frozen in an ice floe.

Two years ago the New York Jets were playing for a playoff spot in the final game of the season. That was the year Jets fans and Ryan Fitzpatrick will tell stories about for some time to come, because this year’s team stunk. They went from 10-6 to 5-11, fired five assistant coaches and let Chan Gailey retire. The Jets had four quarterbacks, none of which could throw their way out of a paper bag. After being six points from the playoffs, the Jets fell apart like the last few seasons of “Dexter.”

For my money, the most disappointing team in 2016 was Carolina, from 15-1 and MVP to 6-10 and SOL. Injuries derailed them early, and while Cam Newton wasn’t as bad as it seemed on paper, him complaining about getting hit so much didn’t help to rehab his public image after an awkward Super Bowl performance. If you’re a Panthers fan, you go from thinking you’re at the beginning of a dynasty to watching your offensive line getting turnstiled, Kelvin Benjamin sleepwalking through games, and your MVP superstar getting leveled every other play because he doesn’t know how to slide.

On to the picks. For the regular season, I wound up 69-40-1 straight up for a winning percentage of 63.2%, and 45-62-3 against the spread, which is 42.3%. Both of the numbers would fall into the “crying shame” category for me, so I really need to make my reputation back in the playoffs.

Here’s the picks for Wild Card Sunday. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.

Miami (+10) at Pittsburgh: This is the first playoff game the Steelers have ever played with Roethlisberger, Bell, and Brown all healthy. Not so fast, Ndamukong Suh says.
Pick: Steelers to win and cover, which means I think they’ll win by more than ten. And I really hope I’m right here, because I think the Steelers are our only hope of keeping the Patriots from romping through the AFC Playoffs.

NY Giants (+4.5) at Green Bay: This one’s a question of what we’ll see. Is this the Giants team that beat Dallas twice, or the one with the atrocious offense that’s either a touchdown to Odell Beckham Jr. or a rush for a yard and a half? And is this the 4-6 Packers, or the team riding a six game winning streak with a running back wearing a weird number? It’s defense against offense, Rodgers against Manning, State Farm against DirecTV.
Pick: Packers to win straight up, but Giants with the points, which means I think they’ll lose by less than five.

I’ll also take Alabama over Clemson, “The Goldbergs” over “The Big Bang Theory,” and winter in Texas over winter in Kentucky, because the snow won’t kill you in Texas. Good luck, everybody.

- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

Here’s The Thing – NoL! It’s GambliChristmas!

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

We’ve reached the end of another week, and we’ve also reached the end of waiting for Christmas my naughty and nice friends! OK, I have no nice friends. We’re all on the Naughty List. In fact, we’re most likely the ones labeled “Ringleaders” on that list. That’s OK, as Billy Joel once said I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the Saints. To that end, let’s talk some gambling!

See, Here’s The Thing; It’s a Christmas visit from Gamblicus, everyone! He doesn’t come down your chimney though, he just barges in the front door, demands bourbon, and in return gives you the greatest sports gambling tips this side of a manger. So let’s get to it! I predict Navy puts up 50+ in their game against Louisiana Tech. I predict Troy and Ohio will play one of the Top 3 most exciting Dollar General Bowls of all time, as far as you or anyone else knows or cares to research. I predict you’ll watch the Aloha Bowl, gaze wistful upon the sunshine, and start planning a family trip to Hawaii that will never materialize. I predict the Dolphins lose to Buffalo, muddying the AFC Playoff picture and giving Rex Ryan an excellent excuse to be obnoxious at his press conference. I predict the upset of the week comes in Chicago. I predict that at 0-14, this Browns season has me missing DirecTV’s Super Creepy Rob Lowe commercials. I predict road wins for the Chargers, Titans, Colts, 49ers and Bengals. I predict double digits wins for the Cowboys, Chiefs, Steelers, Seahawks and Saints. I also predict a double digit win for the Patriots, but only because a triple digit win seems slightly unrealistic. Slightly. I predict Cam Newton will literally be hit on the head with a sledgehammer during game play, but after further review, no targeting penalty will be called. I predict it will be cold in Green Bay, but the announcers won’t mention it, because they rarely do. Right? Finally, I predict that unwrapping a locked up #1 overall pick will be the best thing Cleveland experiences this entire season.

Look, I don’t care how many wise men there are, Gamblicus is the wisest of all. So go win yourself some gold and frankincense. Oh, and Happy Holidays to each and every one of you.

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy schedule and buy my CD all on my website at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com. For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.

HeresTheThingArt

Here’s The Thing – Gamblicus Is Santa

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

If everybody’s working for the weekend, well then everybody’s made it, because the weekend is here! (Also, you should negotiate a pay raise) Yes, I do know that’s an ancient song reference. No, I don’t care. Hey, do you want to stand here and quibble over whether I’m “old” or “really old,” or do you want Gamblicus to give you the best gambling tips in this and most of the other galaxies?

See, Here’s The Thing; It’s Mortal Lock Friday, which means our old friend Gamblicus will pop his head out and see if we’re going to get six more weeks of winter. No wait, that’s not Gamblicus. I apologize, that’s Bill Murray. Anyway, why don’t we take a look and see who’s going to win what in the world of sports this weekend? I predict the number of shirtless guys and guys dressed as Santa in the stands in Buffalo will be greater than the number of points scored between the Bills and Browns. I predict the hype about Matt Moore and his “gunslinger” mentality heads to new York and suffers the same fate as most gunslingers in The Old West: shot in the back while sitting in the outhouse. I predict that those who are upset with LeBron James resting for a game in December are those who have taken multiple days off this year for great reasons like “I just can’t even” and “How can I be expected to work when Chloe’s life is in turmoil?” I predict Draymond Green kicks a guy in the nuts. (OK, that one is a gimme) I predict a major free agent baseball signing in Cleveland. I predict the upset of the week comes from the Not For Much Longer San Diego Chargers. I predict the Panthers, Saints, Bengals and Colts keep their flickering playoff hopes alive. I predict a road win for the Patriots, a home loss for the Texans, a growing “What if Matt Barkley is the guy at quarterback” movement in BearsTwitter, and a complete and utter annihilation of two dozen bacon-wrapped chicken wings on my couch. That’s right, Daddy’s home.

Look, if Gamblicus had ever been wrong there might be cause for hesitation, but as sure as it’s the weekend, he’s right. Go forth and gamble, degenerates!

Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy schedule and buy my CD all on my website at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com. For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.

HeresTheThingArt

An NFL Thanksgiving in Las Vegas

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

As the Lions kick the game-winning field goal, the woman next to me erupts in joy. She pumps her fists and screams, and runs about the floor of the MGM Grand Casino, high-fiving anyone who’ll raise a palm to her.

She’s not even a Lions fan.

It’s Thanksgiving Day, and I am an embedded reporter in a Las Vegas sportsbook. On today, the biggest family holiday of the year, the fifty-plus huge-screen televisions here in this Vegas casino are showing NFL games to a packed house of people who have either come here to flee their families, or brought them along so everyone can lose money together.

At nine a.m. on a Thanksgiving morning, they were already there, armed with astonishing amounts of information. They had magazines, newspapers, and gambling forms so full of complicated numbers they seemed to be the chemical formula for a linebacker, and they sat down to compile it all before making their wagers. They were all looking for the one thing to put them over the top and honestly, that strategy works about 48% of the time, which is exactly the correct ratio for everything.

15241243_660919507422401_4532970873563991461_nThe Lions won and covered the point spread, which made the woman from Charlotte, North Carolina, exuberant. I talk to her husband for a few minutes while she takes her victory lap, and find out he’s a huge fan but she’s never even watched an NFL game seriously before. They’ve left their kids with their family back home and came out to Vegas for a mini-vacation, and they’ve put money down on all three NFL games that day. They’ll be there a while, spending about eleven hours cheering together.

It’s a fun moment, but only half the people here are celebrating. A guy on crutches who seems homeless and is missing most of one of his legs drops his head and rubs his brow. Earlier he told me he had the Vikings, and when I asked him how much he bet, he said “two large.” I couldn’t imagine him having two of anything extra to lose.

But that’s the way it goes, there’s no winners without losers, even on Thanksgiving Day. There are a lot of homeless people here in Vegas who are wearing shirts and caps from various gambling events and poker tours. It seems like everyone’s got a system until you wind up sleeping under a bridge.

For the Dallas-Washington game, the sportsbook filled up quickly. The Cowboys are still America’s Team, which means people will line up to root for and against them. I see a guy in a Romo jersey sitting down front, cheering at every play. Later I see a guy with a Dak Prescott jersey, so I tell him if he wants, he can go take the other guy’s seat.

Cowboys fans are everywhere. There’s a couple wearing Claiborne and Witten jerseys, who came to town to get remarried for their Thanksgiving trip. Sitting in front of me, a couple from Scotland are Facetiming their friends back home to tell them how awesome Dak Prescott is. It’s very funny to me for some reason, although I can’t exactly explain why.

A guy from Indianapolis in a vintage Franco Harris Steelers jersey tells me he made plans to come here after a buddy broke up with his girlfriend, so they could have a boys’ weekend. Since the trip was booked the relationship rekindled, and now it’s a bachelor party weekend. I get the feeling he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but no one’s turning down a trip to Vegas on moral principles. As a Steelers fan he hates the Cowboys, but he still bet them to win.

At the back of the room cheering on Washington is Chris from Los Angeles, wearing a Redskins hat, garish red and gold shoes, and an authentic Sean Taylor jersey. He looks like the Redskins threw up on him, but he’s a hardcore fan who grew up watching the team with his dad. He couldn’t make it to the family gathering, so drove four hours to Vegas to support his team as a family tradition. And hopefully win some money, of course.

As the Cowboys-Redskins game rages on, I notice the cheering feels different, maybe even more pure. These cheers aren’t from the hearts of fans, they’re from the wallets of gamblers. And they know it’s a shallow thing to do, but they don’t care.

During the Steelers-Colts game that night, I meet two guys in their mid-sixties from New Jersey who come here for Thanksgiving every year. And judging from the slips in front of them, they bet a lot. I get the feeling this is a regular occurrence in their lives. I ask why they didn’t just go to Atlantic City, and they laugh at me.

And I am scared to ask for any more details.

After a long Thanksgiving Day spent watching football in the midst of the heavily invested, a couple of things stand out to me. Las Vegas is a different plane of existence where the rules of reality just don’t exist, and it means something different to everyone. I’ve met people here who came here for the holiday because there’s nowhere else they’d rather be for the holiday, and some who just showed up to be around other people on a lonely day of the year for them.

Also? Before ten in the morning, listening to Phil Simms is even more intolerable than usual.

For tonight’s game, the Cowboys are favored by four, and I’ll take that easily over the Vikings. Sometimes you just have to let Sam Bradford be Sam Bradford. I’ll be back Sunday with the rest of the picks. Good luck, everybody.

- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

(This article originally appeared in the print edition of the Tyler Morning Telegraph.)

Reid’s NFL Picks: The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

As an observer of humanity, I’m always looking for things I haven’t seen before, the amazing and ridiculous, and the moments so bizarre they stay with me for a good long time. And so this week, I was pleasantly surprised to have a new top entry on my list of “The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Heard.”

And yes, even in the week of the most intriguing election since Napoleon Dynamite, I heard something so silly and insane it stood out. It was one of those talking head sports-shouting shows that I can watch for about twelve seconds before I have to flip to something more interesting, such as a “King of Queens” rerun or my cat taking a nap. Anyway, one of these alleged sports experts said the following.

“The Dallas Cowboys have GOT to trade Tony Romo.”

I understand on these shows, hot opinions are all that matters. They don’t have to make sense, indeed, it’s often better for the ratings if they don’t, so they say dumb things just to get a reaction from the audience.

“The NFL should suspend Richard Sherman, but make him play kicker while he’s out.”
“The Raiders should leave Oakland and just play in a series of Winn-Dixie parking lots all over California!”
“LeBron James is nothing more than a modern-day Kurt Rambis!”

You know, just angry gibberish, which people seem to eat up for some reason. But the Romo trade demand makes less than zero sense. It was so foolish, I wandered around for the rest of the day searching for truth and honesty in society, and coming up snake-eyes on that one.

It’s a given now that the Cowboys are Dak Prescott’s team. He could easily be the MVP of the league in the “non-suspended for four games” category. And Tony Romo will more than likely be cut loose in the offseason, and not truly appreciated until many years later. But that doesn’t mean things have to change immediately.

This is professional football. It’s not “The Replacements,” where when the starting quarterback comes back, you fire the backup for no apparent reason.

If you have a proven backup quarterback and you’re in a playoff chase, you don’t get rid of him. You don’t dump a major asset for a minor draft pick unless you’re Bill Belichick, and you’re devilishly insane.

Yes, once upon a time Drew Bledsoe lost his starting job to Tom Brady and was traded away, but not until Bledsoe had to come off the bench and help win the AFC Championship Game. If you’re okay with the thought of Dak getting injured this season and Mark Sanchez being a playoff starter, you go right ahead and keep losing money on Draft Kings, my friend.

On to the picks. Last week I went 5-1, and 3-3 against the Vegas spread, including one game I lost because of a meaningless touchdown in the final minute. And I know it was meaningless, because it was scored by the Rams. But the spread was 3.5 points, and a 13-3 lead suddenly became 13-10, and my win went away. It’s my own fault, I know I should always buy that half-point hook, but I never remember to do that because apparently I enjoy despair.

On the season, I’m now 35-20-1 straight up, 21-32-3 against the spread. Here’s the week ten picks. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.

Houston (+1) at Jacksonville: I’ll admit certain teams in the NFL I can’t figure out, but the Texans are as consistent as sunrise. They win the games they should win, they lose the games they should lose, and they’re always in line for a crushing playoff defeat.
Pick: Texans to win and cover the spread, which means they’ll win by at least a point. If this one’s a tie, I lose.

San Francisco (+13.5) at Arizona: Chip Kelly is adamant that he’s not going to leave the 49ers to return to college football. Which begs the obvious question, “Why not?”
Pick: Cardinals to win and cover.

Dallas (+3) at Pittsburgh: Last week, Ben Roethlisberger had the worst comeback since Corey Feldman played the Today Show.
Pick: Cowboys to win it outright.

Los Angeles (+2) at NY Jets: If the NFL wonders why their ratings are down, “Exhibit A” should be this game between teams from the two biggest markets in the country, possibly quarterbacked by Case Keenum and Bryce Petty. That’s not a prime time matchup, it’s an Independence Bowl.
Pick: Jets to win and cover.

Kansas City (+3) at Carolina: Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce learned this week that throwing a towel at an official will get you flagged, ejected, fined, and hated by everyone who wasted a high draft pick on you in their fantasy football league.
Pick: Chiefs to win outright.

Seattle (+8) at New England: Richard Sherman couldn’t be more in full-on pro-wrestling bad guy mode if he did his postgame interviews wearing a feathered robe and shouting “Whoo!”
Pick: Patriots to win and cover.

I’ll also take the Patriots to win the AFC, the Seahakws to win the NFC, and the Browns to go 1-15 somehow. Good luck everybody.

- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

 

Here’s The Thing – Let’s Gamble, Jerkweeds! (Mortal Lock Friday)

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

[Read more…]

Here’s The Thing – Terrifying Clowns on Mortal Lock Friday

By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

[Read more…]

Reid’s Week Sixteen NFL Picks: Coasting To The Finish

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

Hope everyone’s had a very merry Christmas, and either enjoyed your presents immensely, or already returned them for something much better. We are about to enter that DMZ of the year, the week between Christmas and New Year’s where nothing ever gets done.

It’s just hard to muster up any enthusiasm for this week, lurching from holiday to holiday. When I worked in television, you always knew you were past Thanksgiving because everyone of any importance at the station was gone until January. From Black Friday through New Year’s Day, You were about as likely to see the big-name anchors on the air as you were to spot Santa in line at Starbucks. [Read more…]

Reid’s Week Fifteen NFL Picks: The Elite

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

It’s always good when a controversy erupts in the NFL, and I say that as a guy who pretty much strip-mined the league for content on a daily basis for radio and TV for the last twenty-five years.

Hey, nothing wrong with being shallow, as long as you can be insightful about it.

The latest talking point came courtesy of alleged Cleveland coach Mike Pettine, who, when asked if he thought this week’s opponent’s quarterback Russell Wilson was “elite,” declined to put him up there and instead said in was in the “second tier.”

After realizing he had provided the very definition of “bulletin board material,” Pettine quickly backtracked the next day as analysts came out of the woodwork to discuss whether or not Wilson was elite, and if a guy who’d been coaching the Browns would even recognize it if he saw it. This dodges the more important question.

Who cares?

Why is it so important to football fans to rank players? Most of these guys bounce from week to week anyway, but we still feel the need to etch in stone which ones of them are worth premature enshrinement.

Face it, Russell Wilson has already won a Super Bowl. He’s earned a fat new contract, his endorsements are everywhere, and he’s apparently so famous he can have Macklemore come over and stand around his pool just to pump him up about bird ownership. Whether we think he’s elite or not is largely irrelevant to his world view.

But still, we want to put him in a box, classify him as “elite” or just “good.”

Newsflash: It doesn’t matter what we think. Arbitrary distinctions don’t win games.

Is Eli Manning elite? Probably not. Is he a sure fire Hall of Famer with as many rings as his whole family plus Brett Favre put together? You betcha.

What about Joe Flacco? Matt Ryan? Tony Romo? Is Philip Rivers elite? He never led San Diego to a Super Bowl.

And it looks like he’ll never get the chance to.

For as much as we argue about it, no one seems to be able to define this “elite” category. We’re only able to clarify who doesn’t belong. As far as I can tell when we say “elite,” we just mean a quarterback who wins games that we also want on our fantasy football teams.

On to the picks. I went down to the Thursday Color Rush game, where the St. Louis Mustard prevailed over the hapless Tampa Bay Ketchup. I had Dallas last night +3.5, which means Kellen Moore was just good enough to get me the win, even if he wasn’t good enough for Dallas. I’m now 52-39-2 on the year. Here’s my picks for week fifteen. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.

Atlanta (+3) at Jacksonville – The Falcons just quit last week against Carolina. If there were playoffs for quitters, Atlanta would have won their playoff game and advanced to play the winner of the Nixon-Roberto Duran matchup this week.
Pick: Jags

Houston (+2) at Indianapolis – This is the first time in NFL history that two first-place teams have met this late in the season with backup quarterbacks starting. Probably. Remember, I’m not really much for research.
Pick: Colts

Buffalo (-2) at Washington – Somehow, through their decision to move Robert Griffin III to the scout team defense, Washington has become the most stable team in the NFC East.
Pick: Washington

Carolina (-4) at NY Giants – Picking the Giants to stop the Panthers undefeated streak because they did it once years ago to the Patriots is like expecting another Oscar-winning performance from Cuba Gooding Jr.
Pick: Panthers

Miami (+2) at San Diego – Philip Rivers is my MVPOAHTATM, my Most Valuable Player On A Horrendous Team About To Move. It’s a prestigious award, but I only get to give it away every couple of decades.
Pick: Chargers

Cincinnati (-5.5) at San Francisco – This week we’ll see if A.J. McCarron is the second coming of Tom Brady. Cincinnati would settle for the second coming of Todd Rutledge, since he was the last Alabama QB to start and win an NFL game. And that was three years before McCarron was born.
Pick: Bengals

I’ll also take solid lights over blinking ones, gift bags over professionally wrapped gifts, and sample size shampoo over fruit in my stockings. Seriously. Fruit just says “I have no gifts, but I want to add mass to your stocking to make it look like I tried.”

- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s novel “The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape” is available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

Reid’s NFL Mailbag: Jets vs. Cowboys, Serena vs. a Horse

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

We’re finally to the time of the year when the NFL expands onto Saturdays, giving us four out of five days straight containing pro football. I can only assume the NFL does this out of compassion for those of us who always get depressed around this time of the year, and could use a few more concussions and torn knee ligaments to get us through the holiday season.

With that in mind, time to check back in with the ol’ mailbag.

Q: Is Johnny Manziel finally the answer in Cleveland?
A: The best you can say right now is that young Jonathan Livingston Football is no longer a negative certainty, and for the Browns, that’s a huge deal. Cleveland is consistently such a grease-fire-train-wreck-clown-autopsy, having any bright spot in this season is a plus. Manziel’s first two seasons have been a mess in every way, but now that he’s finally getting to start and accepting that responsibility, he’s worth taking a look at. He probably had his best pro game against the 49ers last week. The Browns are characteristically awful this year and will probably clean house again as soon as the season ends, but Manziel has given them enough to think about that the next coach will at least have him as an option. And if not, expect the Browns to draft another quarterback and Manziel to go exactly where you think he’ll go.

Q: How many coaches will get fired on Black Monday, and is Jason Garrett safe?
A: Last question first, yes. He’s still Jerry’s guy, although both of them need to share the blame for stocking a roster of useless backfield parts behind Romo. Garrett’s done an awful job of getting his team ready to play without his starting quarterback, and Jerry is well aware of that. The clock is ticking on Romo and the Cowboys window to make a playoff run, and the cupboard is bare behind him. Keeping the band together right now is the best idea.

As for the rest of the league, I’ll say the Chargers, Colts, Browns, and Lions will all make a move. The Falcons and 49ers should but won’t, and the Dolphins and Titans have already switched, and should keep looking.

Q: What do you think about Sports Illustrated naming Serena Williams as their Sportsperson of the Year, and snubbing American Pharoah?
A: Since the NFL player who probably deserved it was the same one on trial for Deflategate the entire year, I can see how they’d ignore the NFL. I would have probably gone with the Kansas City Royals, but I can see their point about Williams. As for people rooting for a horse, good luck with all that.

Don’t get me wrong, I get horse racing. It’s like the lottery for rich people and organized crime figures. But I prefer to follow sports that have more than three events people can name, and consider athletes who actually know they’re in a competition.

And don’t tell me that horses understand they’re racing in the Preakness or wherever. Even if you believe that, you definitely don’t believe they’re aware enough to understand the concept of “injuries.” If they had any idea of what would happen to them if they broke their leg while racing, every event would take the half-speed pace of Pro Bowl out there.

On to the picks. In Week Fourteen I went 3-3, overestimating the Bucs, Falcons, and Cowboys. And as bad as the Cowboys are, the Falcons are even more soul-crushingly worse. Remember when they were 5-0 this season? I do, and so does Falcon ownership, and that’s a major problem.

I’m now 51-38-2 on the year. Here’s my picks for the early games in week fifteen, I’ll be back Sunday with the rest. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.

Tampa Bay (+1.5) at St. Louis – They lose games they should win, then pull off upsets. They’re led by the highest-regarded coach in history with the lowest winning percentage. Forget LA, the only way the Rams could be any less stable would be to move them directly onto the San Andreas Fault.
Pick: Bucs

NY Jets (-3.5) at Dallas – At some point you just have to stop rooting for wins, and turn all of your hopes towards tanking and getting a good draft pick. You have to go “Full Browns.”
Pick: Cowboys

I’ll also take Christmas Vacation over White Christmas, “Please Come Home For Christmas” over “Santa Baby,” and “Angels We Have Heard On High” over “Silent Night.”

- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s novel “The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape” is available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

The PSDC Best Bet: Week Six

Here at Project Shanks.com, we are committed to covering sports. And watching sports. And most importantly, winning money on sports. With that in mind, this season we’re debuting a new feature.

We proudly present…the Project Shanks.com Best Bet.

Get-Money

Every week, we’ll pore over the spreads, check the ever-shifting lines, and come up with our best idea on the one game that we’re completely, absolutely, 100% certain about. Each one of our writers will give you their favorite of the week, and explain in brief why this game is their sure-fire lock for the weekend, the one they feel comfortable betting their car payment on. [Read more…]

Reid’s Week Five NFL Picks: Make The Right Call

By Reid Kerr
PSDC Offensive Coordinator

The Cowboys have a much-needed bye week, which gives them time to switch from the older backup quarterback who only throws short passes to the younger one who couldn’t stay on the roster in Buffalo. At this point, it’s like changing the oil in a car with four flat tires, but whatever works, I suppose.

With no Cowboys game to dread, that gives me a moment to catch up on the big story of the year so far. Deflategate? Quarterback injuries? Coaches getting fired after London trips?

Nope. Let’s talk about the refs, kids.

Ideally, sports officials should be perfect and invisible, but that’s not the world we live in. So far this season, officials have cost all of us wins, money, and fantasy football glory, so we’re clearly furious. Mondays on sports-talk radio seem to be an every-week feature of rants against the previous day’s bad calls.

And I don’t understand why the NFL isn’t just as angry. We’re seeing clearly blown calls at the end of games in primetime now. The NFL will take eleven minutes to review an obvious Dez Bryant catch, so finding out that the league hasn’t thought far enough in advance to make an easily-verified call challengeable just because no one ever thought of it before is…well, a bit frustrating.

It seems a shame that the NFL is still having this problem in high-profile games, although I do find it fairly hilarious that the NFL removed a ref who blew a call on a Monday night game, and reassigned him to Sunday afternoon games. You screw up on Sunday or Monday night, the world is watching. You bag a call in a Jaguars game, no one may ever notice.

Good luck with your protests, bottom third of the league.

My solution? Go through the rule book in the offseason and see what’s out there that could one day conceivably cause you to look like a doofus, and make that call reviewable. Do it now for the simple calls before you have the occasion to fail at a critical time. Again.

Remember, officials couldn’t even use replay to count the number of men on the field until an angry Bill Cowher stuffed a picture into a ref’s pocket. Some forward thinking would really help get the focus back on the field.

On to the picks. The Thursday night game was Falcons by 3.5, which seemed like such a sucker’s bet I doubled down on it. And of course, I lost because Atlanta turned the ball over like it was buttered, and suffered their first loss of the season.

Thanks, Falcons, for reminding me who you were the last two years. Duly noted.

When something seems to good to be true, it is. That’s true in all realms, folks. Gambling, advertising, mating, whatever. Always be skeptical. I’m now 23-8-2 on the year, still well above the water line but a bit more cautious.

Here’s my picks for week six. Remember, these are for the purposes of discussion only. As always, no wagering.

Denver (-4.5) at Cleveland – We were all hoping a Texas-born quarterback would have a career year for the Browns, I just don’t think too many of us thought it would be Josh McCown.
Pick: Broncos

Cincinnati (-3.5) at Buffalo – If you were drawing up all of the ingredients for a trap game, this would have them. Coming off an emotional win against a Super Bowl team? Check. Opponent reeling with injuries? Check. One of these teams being the Bengals? Oh, you betcha.
Pick: Bengals

Kansas City (+4) at Minnesota – When I heard about the injury to Jamaal Charles, I immediately logged on to my fantasy team to drop him and pick up another running back. Then I paused for a moment to realize what a horrible person that makes me. Then I picked up Todd Gurley, and I came to grips with myself.
Pick: Vikings

Houston (+1.5) at Jacksonville – The media is trying to make a big deal out of the fact J.J. Watt is frustrated. Of course he is, he’s a Texans fan.
Pick: Jaguars

Baltimore (-2) at San Francisco – For all those of you who don’t get how fleeting success can be in the NFL, let me point out this tepid battle of 1-4 teams was a Super Bowl matchup just three seasons ago. Fans in this one might be begging the NFL to turn off the lights again.
Pick: Ravens

New England (-9.5) at Indianapolis – My good friend and gambling oracle Chris Stuckey taught me to always take a home team getting double digits, but I can’t take that advice when the Patriots are running up the score on people like they’re still trying to improve their BCS rankings.
Pick: Patriots

I’ll also take the Royals to win the AL, the Cubs to win the NL, and the new Steve Jobs movie to do better than the last one, but still not that good.

- Reid Kerr talks a lot, as his wife always reminds him. Reid’s novel “The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape” is available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.