Sports Enyi Time: Cowboys Hall of Fame Game with Law Nation

During the second half of the Cowboys/Cardinals Hall of Fame game, Darreck and Enyi took some time to call up a friend of the show and engage in some quality Cowboys talk. Oh, and the Mavericks came up later on, too.

Here’s The Thing 8/5/13: Meaningless

By Stephen Thomas
PSDC Funnyman and Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

Stephen Thomas’ brand new CD “Magic Wife Dust” is now available HERE! His sports-humor commentary can be heard nationwide, weekdays on The Nick Bonsanto Show on the Sports Byline USA radio network. You can subscribe to the Here’s The Thing podcast on iTunes and/or Podbean for free.  The transcripts will appear here.

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

The NFL is back … sort of.  The Hall Of Fame Game was last night, and how about that finish? Yeah … exciting … OK, I didn’t watch all the way to the end, just like you. The only people who did were the parents of the guys playing in the fourth quarter, and wives who didn’t realize their husbands fell asleep next to them on the couch in the third quarter and they were free to change to one of the 836 channels whose programming consists entirely of shows about how horrible it is to be married to men who watch football.

See, Here’s The Thing; That being said, I don’t agree with those who say the NFL preseason is meaningless. Meaningless in terms of wins and losses and how the regular season will go? Yes. Meaningless in terms of how Breaking Bad will wrap up? Probably, but with Walter White, you never know – I mean, the way things have gone lately, it could turn out that Gus Fring was personal friends with Aaron Hernandez. Anyway, these games are the opposite of meaningless to those guys who were fighting for roster spots in the fourth quarter. Somewhere near the end last night, a play went one way or the other by the tiniest of margins; a defensive lineman missed batting down a pass by 1/4 of an inch, a running back tripped just enough to miss a hole and not get a first down, the nuggets a defensive back ate earlier at Los Pollos Hermanos gave him bad gas right at the snap and he was beaten off the line. Whatever it was, the play was won and lost by a cosmic microsecond – which affects roster spots for the next cuts, which affects who’s an NFL player and who’s bagging groceries in a month, which affects their wives, their girlfriends, their kids, their girlfriends’ kids, their bookies, their bookies wives, their bookies girlfriends’ kids, and of course Al Sharpton. See how it’s all a big butterfly effect?

Look, like you, I thought last night’s game was boring after the first two minutes, but nothing about it was meaningless. Everything we do affects the rest of our lives, and everyone else on the planet, even if it’s just to figure out how Walter White got to new Hampshire. I can’t wait!

Find me on the web at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com, Facebook as Comedian Stephen Thomas, or follow me on Twitter @15Stephen15.  For The Nick Bonsanto Show, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.

Here’s The Thing 8/2/13: Man Time

By Stephen Thomas
PSDC Funnyman and Brad Pitt Doppelgänger

Stephen Thomas’ brand new CD “Magic Wife Dust” is now available HERE! His sports-humor commentary can be heard nationwide, weekdays on The Nick Bonsanto Show on the Sports Byline USA radio network. You can subscribe to the Here’s The Thing podcast on iTunes and/or Podbean for free.  The transcripts will appear here.

I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.

It’s Friday, and the weekend is upon us. You’ve fought your way through the mass of people saying “TGIF” and grinning in your face like morons, and now have 48 blessed hours to do whatever you want once you get done everything your wife has on your list. That’s OK this weekend though, pile up those honeydo lists ladies, you can’t make us stop smiling, because football is back!

See, Here’s The Thing; The Hall Of Fame Game is this Sunday in Canton, OH, and when the Cowboys and Dolphins kick it off, it will signal the beginning of the Man Time of year. While it’s true that the Hall Of Fame Game isn’t exactly the most exiting game – with stars playing little if at all, it’s kind of like your first time having sex: a few minutes of excitement, followed by confusion and then quickly forgetting names – at least football is here. I know most women don’t like this time of year. I’ve heard many a wife complain that “For all of football season, he barely listens to me and doesn’t remember anything I tell him.” Ladies, this is simply not true – we barely listen or remember anything you tell us all year round. It’s just that during football season, we have a ready made excuse to not listen waiting for us every Sunday … and Monday Night … and Thursdays … and college games on Saturday … and sometimes Tuesday … MAN I love football! It’s not that we don’t want to talk to you ladies, it’s just that you want to talk about feelings – we don’t want to talk about feelings, not OUR feelings anyway. Hey, ask us how we feel about our favorite player’s hamstring injury – you’ll never see your man more emotional, especially if it’s nearly playoff time.

Look ladies, you have your time of year too, it’s just broken up into special occasions – you know, birthdays, anniversaries, baby showers, and other assorted un-Man activities that require cards and little gifts and pretending to like people that you call a witch as soon as we get back in the car. That’s YOUR time. This is MAN time. Are you ready for some football?

Find me on the web at MiddleAgedMarriedGuy.com, Facebook as Comedian Stephen Thomas, or follow me on Twitter @15Stephen15.  For The Nick Bonsanto Show, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.