“Selfish” Kim Wants $19.95 for Selfies

By Rachel Porter Bullock
PSDC Bargain Shopper

Mark your calendars for April 2015. That’s when Kim Kardashian’s new book “Selfish” will be published, according to E!.

Now I know what y’all are hoping but Selfish isn’t a torrid behind-the-scenes look into the secret lives of Kim or her less than philanthropic friends and their adventures in not sharing. Nope, it’s just a 352-page hardcover picture book of Kim’s “selfies” including, according to the wife of Kanye West herself, some “super-racy” ones. [Read more…]

Breaking: Paris Admits Kim’s Butt More “Gouda” Than Cottage

By Rachel Porter Bullock
PSDC Cheese Connoisseur


More exciting news out of Ibiza, Spain over the weekend. You may remember that Ibiza was the site of the Orlando Bloom/Justin Bieber “fist fight” last week that left the world looking up the definition of “fist fight.” Now, it’s been the site of a much-anticipated reconciliation. No, not of that cute little “Bloober” couple. They’re still fighting over the fist fiasco.


Nope. It’s girls this time. Paris Hilton and “Big Booty Judy” Kim Kardashian were long-time friends from way back. Like waaay back. Way way waaaay back before Paris said “that’s hot” and before the world cared more about the size of Kim’s ass than the turmoil in the Middle East. Way back when Kim was just a closet organizer with a semi-famous step-dad and Paris was still a “B” list celebrity instead of a “who/never heard of her?” [Read more…]

A Unique Wedding Gift Has Been Promised to Kim Kardashian

By Chris Stuckey

Do you know who I’m talking about when I say the name Ray J? If not, you may know him better as the dude that made a sex tape with Kim Kardashian. Stand up dude obviously. Well in an effort to cling on to what shred of legitimacy he might still have, Mr. J is vowing to give his ex-girlfriend a unique wedding gift.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Getty Images

What is this unique gift you ask? [Read more…]

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 5 Curse of the Kardashian

Curse of the Kardashian by Bryan Douglass


Consider the prolific careers put forth by the collective vaginal force that is the Kardashian family and it’s easy to lose sight of an iconic year. Take five to survey the carnage and it cannot be denied.

Scott Disick, infamous non-husband of Kourtney, might be the saving grace of the disgraced, dogged only by the never-ending rumor of infidelity, questions about his net worth and employment and another rumored child born out of wedlock (yawn). His status as a douche is established and unrelenting.

Middle sister Khloe was this year’s comeback kid. Fans have claimed middle sis as the lone source of reason and sanity for Klan Kardashian for years, but her life seized the front page in 2013 as husband Lamar Odom opted for the crack house over the Kardashian mansion, creating what might be the most impressive Kardashian demolition of an athletic career we’ve seen yet (which is saying something… just ask Miles Austin).

Kim managed to get another ring in it and, in the process, inspired Kanye West to create one of the worst “blockbusters” in hip hop history (and, at best, the worst effort of his career). His answer to the criticism: a new Yeezus video featuring Kim inspired by the prolific porn era of the 1980s and a new career focus on fashion. The best thing that happened to Kanye in 2013 was Jay Pharoah… and we doubt he joins us in viewing that ongoing SNL humor well as a highlight.

While their work was worthy of applause, the Shanks crowd should now stand in honor of the 2013 effort put forth by semi-mother Kris. While she’s a Jenner, and not a true Kardashian, she truly developed that connection and solidified her place as family patriarch this year, pushing a man once known as the world’s greatest athlete not only to divorce, but into the insanity of grotesque plastic surgery and a rumored dedication to change gender. We don’t judge and certainly wish him well, but Bruce was a man of tremendous and universal stature for decades… Kris torched it all in a matter of months.

If you had sex with a Kardashian in 2013, your life turned to shit, and thus I nominate you – all of you – as the thing that sucked most in 2013.

Previous: “Community” checks in at #6.
Next: “Dexter” goes away finally at #4.

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013, Honorable Mention: Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Get Together

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher Get Together by Chris Stuckey

When I was thinking back on 2013 and trying to think of all of the things that sucked, one thing in particular kept coming to mind. And it sucked really bad. I get more upset every time I hear about it or see a picture that serves as a reminder. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher publicly acknowledged that they were indeed in a romantic relationship. This is just wrong on so many levels. Ashton is probably an all right dude and hope he finds happiness one day but he needs to understand that he is interfering with destiny. Mila and I are meant to be together. You could even call us soulmates. Standing in the way of that will cause a karmic imbalance in the universe. It’s even a crime in some states.

Photo Credit: AP

Photo Credit: AP

I have asked a lot of people and almost every one of them has said that I have a lot more to offer than Kutcher. Mila, would you rather be with a guy who was in the movie “Dude, Where’s My Car?” or the founder of a sports/pop culture website and the owner of a portable toilet rental company? I don’t think I even need to wait on an answer to that question.

As we dive headfirst into 2013, we need to take a moment to step back and look at the big picture. Longview, TX is a much better place to live than New York or LA and I’m a step up from Mr. Kutcher. I think the decision has been made for you, Mila.

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 1 The Boston Marathon

The Boston Marathon by Johnny Griffith


The year of 2013 is a memory now, but for many spectators and participants of the 2013 Boston Marathon it was a suckage of nightmarish proportions that will not soon be forgotten. On April 15, at 2:49:43 p.m. EST the first of two explosive devices detonated on Boylston Street, with the second device detonating 13 seconds later. Three people were killed and an estimated 246 additional were injured by the devices that were allegedly planted by brothers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. During the ensuing investigation and manhunt, Tamerlan was killed in an exchange of fire with police and Dzhokhar was captured several hours later after hiding in a covered boat in the community of Watertown.

Sport is supposed to be a haven where we come together for a few hours and forget about the real world, losing ourselves in cheering for our favorite team, our favorite athlete or just losing ourselves in the spirit of the competition as we push ourselves to achieve more than expected or anticipated. Sport has countless times crossed social, ideological and political divides as competition has given people common ground that would otherwise most likely never would. This idyllic picture was shattered on Patriots’ Day in Boston and the broken image lives on in the physical and psychological damage inflicted upon unsuspecting people simply coming together to celebrate achievement.

For that and the chaos that ensued as a result, this was my top choice for things that sucked in 2013.

Previous: Breaking Bad’s finale at #2.

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 10 FX’s Moves ‘It’s Always Sunny’ and ‘The League’ to FXX

FX’s Moves ‘It’s Always Sunny’ and ‘The League’ to FXX by Reid Kerr


In 2014, FX decided to move their two best comedies, “The League” and “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” to their new channel, FXX.

And where did they get this new channel, FXX? It’s their old Fox Soccer channel. And there’s the problem.

If you draw up the Venn Diagram with “people who like Sunny and The League” on one side, and “people who like soccer enough to know where the channels are” on the other, there’s precious little overlap. Add to that the fact that FXX takes Fox Soccer’s place on the high channel tiers on DirecTV, and the ratings for this season plummeted.

Last season’s numbers for “The League” ranged from 720,000 to 930,000. Those totals dropped to 360,000-510,000 after the premiere. “Sunny” was pulling over a million viewers an episode before the move, afterward it pulled close to half of that.

These are two of the funniest shows around so when I found out FX was moving them to a soccer channel, which I would gladly pay extra to not have on my television, I called DirecTV. I’ll have to pay extra for them, the DirecTV rep said. What else do I get with that extra cash?

“Oh, you get the Tennis Network, the Outdoor Channel, Mid-Atlantic Sports…”

Did you say THE TENNIS CHANNEL? Stop drilling, you hit oil. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Charge me whatever extra you desire simply so I can watch a pair of Ukranian teenagers square off in the Munchos Potato Chips Open.

“Sunny” and “The League” reach a large percentage of viewers in younger demographics, and those people don’t like to pay more for cable than they have to. What they love to do, in fact, is steal cable, copy DVDs, and pirate TV shows off the internet.

Next: The Chicago Cubs at #9

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 9 The Chicago Cubs

The Chicago Cubs by Joe Hines

I’m charged with the assignment to contribute to our “Things that Sucked in 2013” column. I hate to get cocky, but in the world of sports, I have the thing that has sucked worse than anything else in 2013 or any other year since 1908. One hundred and five years since a championship with precious few opportunities to reverse the trend. That’s right, my thing that sucks is/are…the Chicago Cubs.


Here’s how bad the suckage was this year. For the second year in a row the Cubs flirted with 100 losses for the season. They fired their manager. Their on field core is based on a scatterbrained shortstop who has gotten worse every year in the league, a first baseman who hit about .230, albeit with a little power. The most excitement around the Major League Club is the influx of talent, that is at best, two years away in the farm system. They have a pitching staff devoid of anything resembling a No. 1 starter. Sorry Jeff Smarzdjia. They suck so bad that not even the allure of Wrigley Field could draw fans to games, the Cubs attendance was down to its lowest level in a number of years.

So for the foreseeable future, you casual Cub followers go ahead and come to the games. Frequent the neighborhood which IS an actual neighborhood. Plop your dollars down on the bar as your pilgrimage takes you from Sluggers to Cubby Bear. Bernies and Murphies Bleachers will welcome your patronage as well. Leave it to die-hards like me to suffer through the actual lack of talent and embarrassing execution. I’ll be there for you for the 2014 suck-fest as I was for 2013, 2012…and on and on. 105 years of sucking. I keep the trophy in my man cave.

Previous: “Sunny” & “The League”  disappear at #10
Next: Poor Detroit fans wind up at #8

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 8 Being a Detroit Sports Fan

Being a Detroit Sports Fan by Ryan Haidinger

It’s not that every Detroit sports teams was bad (we’re not Cleveland), it’s the way the seasons ended that made this year so rough. We’ll start in the NHL where the Red Wings barely made the playoffs. The Wings snuck in as the seven seed and faced rival and eventual Stanley Cup champion Chicago in the second round. The Wings blew a 3-1 series lead and lost in overtime… in Game 7… to a rival… who went on to win it all. The WORST.

The Tigers’ season took the sting out of the Red Wings loss for a few months, until Game 2 of the ALCS. Max Scherzer took a no-hitter into the sixth inning and the Tigers, leading game 5-1 in the eighth, looked primed to take the first two games at Fenway. Then David Ortiz happened… the bullpen cop happened… Fenway magic happened and the Tigers never had a chance. The Tigers lost in six games to the eventual champions and baseball’s best team went home early.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The Lions showed early promise starting the season 6-3 and blowing out the Packers on Thanksgiving. Aaron Rodgers got hurt, Jay Cutler got hurt and the Lions had a two-game lead in the NFC North with four weeks left. Of course the Lions predictably lost their last four games and finished third in the division. To make matters worse the team actually mailed playoff tickets to buyers, and refused refunds saying the purchases roll over to the team’s next playoff appearance. Considering Detroit’s last division championship came in 1993, some season ticket holders unborn child will happily enjoy playoff tickets one day.

The lone bright spot for Detroit sports fans is in the college ranks. Michigan State football won the Big Ten Championship and reached the Rose Bowl for the first time since 1988. The Spartan basketball team sits at No. 5 in the country and looks poised for a Final Four run. If you’re a Michigan State fan, the future looks just as bright with Tom Izzo and Mark Dantonio running things. Of course if you’re a Michigan Wolverines fan…I’m sorry.

Previous: The Cubs at #9…again.
Next: Celebrity deaths at #7.

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 7 Celebrity Deaths

Celebrity Deaths by Doug Shook

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. – William Penn

From veteran actors like Peter O’Toole and Dennis Farina, to younger stars Paul Walker and Cory Monteith. Political Figures like Nelson Mandela and Margret Thatcher as well as author Tom Clancy and radio DJ Kidd Kraddick. Of the deaths that took place this year three stood out to me the most.

3. James Gandolfini 

I remember watching The Sopranos with the volume down low and the captioning turned on because my mother hated the language and didn’t want me watching it. I was hooked though. Tony Soprano commanded respect but still showed human characteristics that were relatable, my guess as to why the show found so much acclaim aside from a great cast. But it wasn’t there that I fell in love with the portly Italian. His ability to be memorable in great films like Crimson Tide, Get Shorty, Fallen and 8mm was part of the reason I tuned into The Sopranos. Gandolfini passed away in June of this year at the age of 51 of a heart attack in Italy.

2. Deftones Bassist, Chi Cheng 

The Deftones are one of my favorite bands. I was stuck in Carthage, TX due to a snow storm on New Year’s Eve doing lights at a skating rink for a band. Shivering, smoking a camel lite, trying to choke down bud ice and “White Pony” blaring in the background between sets I can’t think of a better NYE I’ve had. That might be sad but I was with friends who loved great music. Chi Cheng was a fighter. His onstage persona was titanic but the real strength was the five-year long fight he had holding on to life in a comatose state from a car crash. The band, family and fans supported him donating to aid in his medical bills. Cheng co-founded the Deftones in 1988 and was 42 years old when he passed.

1. Paul Walker


Paul Walker never struck me as a great actor. That being said, I’ve seen almost every movie he has been in. He was a part of my youth playing sunbaked Phil Deedle in Meet the Deedles to all but one Fast and Furious movie so far, my favorite of his roles was West Canaan QB Lance Harbor in my No. 3 all-time favorite football movie, Varsity Blues. My now wife loved the Fast and Furious movies (more so Vin Diesel) and over the course of our courtship to marriage, we have made a date night out of seeing them when they hit the theaters. What I liked about Paul Walker was how he came off as a person first and a celebrity second. Paul was an avid disc golfer, surfer and animal lover, taking part in great white shark wrangling for research and supporting numerous animal rights groups. Walker liked getting dirty at the hands of a hard day’s work, which I found respectable. Walker died in a car crash with best friend and business partner Roger Rodas. He was 40.

Previous: Bad times in Detroit again, at #8.
Next: “Community” is in session at #6.

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 4 Dexter Goes First To Worst

Dexter Goes First To Worst by Reid Kerr

In 2013, we finally bid a fond farewell to Dexter Morgan, the serial-killing hero of Showtime’s “Dexter.”

Only four years too late.


Dexter will be remembered for two great seasons, two good ones, and a horrible stumble to the finish after that. Following season four’s Trinity Killer storyline and the performance of John Lithgow as his worthy adversary, the show never again reached that peak, nor ever came close.

After three bad seasons to lower our expectations, the final year of Dexter featured awful writing, shoehorning characters we didn’t care about into situations that made no sense, and a finale that left fans angry.

Spoiler Alert: It sucked. If you’re still reading, don’t watch it.

In the end, Dexter’s sister Deb died off camera. He stole her body from the hospital, which no one seemed to notice, and threw it into the bay. He sent his son off to live with a serial poisoner who’s wanted all over the world, and he wound up as a lumberjack.

No, there are no typos in that paragraph. It was as if the final episode was written by Mad Libs. A show that was once can’t-miss television wound up with the worst finale in the history of television.

Previous: The curse of the Kardashian at #5.
Next: Derrick Rose at #3.

Top 10 Things That Sucked in 2013: No. 3 Derrick Rose’s Health

Derrick Rose’s Health by Michael Conway

We may look back at the 2011 NBA MVP voters as misinformed, blinded, duped or some combination of all three. Derrick Rose was a near consensus choice as MVP. A few naysayers compared his stats to Russell Westbrook’s to deflate the nation’s infatuation with Rose, and the stat lines were very similar. With two recent years of LeBron dominance in the rearview mirror, maybe King James was just slightly less than totally dominant in the 2010-11 season but still the best player in the league. Rose certainly arrived at a fortunate intersection of a variety of factors. He exceeded expectations while showcasing new developments in his game like a potent jump shot, led his team to exceed expectations and take the top seed in the East, and this all came at the height of the post-Decision backlash. The alpha dog situation in Miami was still fluid, LeBron had seemingly rejected the burden expected of a MVP and look at this nice young man in Chicago who is balling all over the league. Voila, the youngest MVP in league history was crowned.

The youngest part bears repeating. Derrick Rose was a mere 22 years old when he claimed the MVP, playing with teammates who were on the youngish side and just reaching their peaks. Losing to the Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals was not a failure but an education. The Bulls would add a few pieces, Rose would mature and improve some more and revenge would be Chicago’s.

Since then, Rose has been lost for the season twice, those youngish pieces have aged and probably hit their prime, and the bench mob is not even a shell of its old self. Two short years later, the Bulls are closer to restarting the title chasing process than to retooling with largely the same core. The Bulls as constituted may have never had a shot even with Rose, but without him, it’s another lost season.

This reality is simply impossible to comprehend. Having the youngest MVP ever on your team is supposed to promise a decade of title contention. The Bulls haven’t really contended for a title since Rose went down against the 76ers that doomed April of 2012. The recovery from the ACL surgery was agonizingly long, but the assumption that Derrick Rose the MVP would return remained. When he didn’t play in the playoffs last year, the general consensus was, “he’s not going to screw his recovery process up.” Insiders praised his game as he rehabbed and the preseason showcased the familiar play of the electrifying point guard. The early season struggles could even be shrugged off to rust, and now maybe it’s safe to say that the cast surrounding him was thin.

This year’s season ending injury to his meniscus—on the other knee—is more devastating. Now the question is not when will Derrick Rose return to playing as Derrick Rose the MVP. It’s if he will at all. With that shift in the overarching question surrounding Rose, the whole prospect of a Bulls juggernaut, another behemoth to challenge Miami, grows tenuous. That shift from unbridled optimism to resigned mediocrity is appalling. It sucks a lot.

Especially because even if MVP Derrick Rose didn’t have the stats that are destined to hold up over the decades, he certainly had moments that ought to last. Moments when he did things on the basketball court that made you believe in the boundless potential of human endeavors and moments that left you chilled. Below is a clip from the second 2010-11 regular season tilt between the Heat and Bulls cued to a clutch Derrick Rose shot. With the entire arena chanting “M-V-P,” Rose sizes up Dwyane Wade, takes a step back and buries a long two-pointer. Listen to the crowd. You can hear the tone change. The M-V-P’s morph into a delirious scream of delight. There was nothing that the crowd wanted more than for their MVP to deliver like an MVP. When the ball drops through the hoop, the crowd’s reaction is nothing short of orgasmic—both crowd and player striving and willing for a singularly excellent play and then reacting accordingly when that play is realized.

I hoped that the ACL recovery would be simply that—recovery. The time apart from Derrick Rose the MVP would be tough, but not permanent. Now as 2013 comes to a close, I’m more worried than ever that those MVP moments will not be harbingers of the future but glimpses of what might have been.

And that really sucks.

Previous: Dexter goes first to worst at #4.
Next: “Breaking Bad” ends at #2.