By Stephen Thomas (@15Stephen15)
PSDC Funnyman And Brad Pitt Doppelgänger
I’m Stephen Thomas with Here’s The Thing.
Welcome back, friends and faithful incarcerated listeners! Yesterday we discussed how one of the best parts of being a sports fans is approaching every day like it could be an historical one. Then the DeAndre Jordan circus came to town, and as I dropped the mic and strutted, hopefully you saw what I was talking about when I said THIS is why we’re sports fans..
See, Here’s The Thing; I WAS RIGHT! I’m married, so I don’t get to say that all too often. I could gloat for this entire two minutes, but I’m not going to, because if ever there were a story that deserved a plethora of fart jokes, THIS is it. First, let me say that DeAndre Jordan is an independent contractor, and as one myself he can do whatever he wants – I work in showbiz, so I’m well aware that until there’s ink on paper, no deal is done, safe or not subject to naked backroom shenanigans. I have no problem with him changing his mind, I just wish he’d been man enough to call Cuban and the Mavs and tell them to their face. Hiding in your house and ignoring phone calls is the NBA Free Agency equivalent of being too chicken to break up with a girl, so you just act cold to her until she gets sick of it and breaks up with you. (A method with a proven track record, to be sure, but still pretty gutless.) So while the Mavs cry in the bathroom and wonder if they’re fat and their girlfriends assure them that Jordan is a big jerk and wasn’t good enough for them anyway and they deserve a better boy, DeAndre must now face the fact that he got back together with his ex, everything that made him think about leaving is still there, and from now on no one will trust his word. Throw in Mark Cuban basically challenging Chris Broussard to meet him in the alley for a fistfight after school, and this is one of the most childish – if wildly entertaining – sports scenarios in recent memory.
Look, given a million guesses yesterday morning, none of us would have predicted the DeAndre Jordan saga! What will happen today? Will Mark Cuban trade Dirk? Will LeBron sign with a Euro-league team? Will my wife admit I was right about something? Well, let’s not get crazy, but again – THIS is why we’re sports fans.
Find my Twitter, Facebook Fan Page, comedy tour schedule and BUY MY CD PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BUY MY CD all on my website at Middleagedmarriedguy.com. For Project Shanks, I’m Stephen Thomas, and that was The Thing.